Expert: Joanne - 12/1/2007

Question
I have struggled with my eating disorder for ten years. The official diagnosis was bulimia but I started off with fasting and restricting for years. Basically I have had two hiatle hernia's (surgery for both) and a stumach ulcer. I was even vomiting blood at one point and I suffered from heart palpations. I was 88lbs at my lowest.

I've been in recovery since may of this year... I've also gained 32 pounds. I hate this so much. But I havn't purged since sept. when I had mys last opperation for my hernia.

I don't know how to deal with this weight gain, and whats worse is I can't stop binging. I am trying so hard. How can I stop binging and just eating normally. I want my life back.

Binging is so triggering, it makes me fast for so long because I can't purge, I'm so afraid I will really kill myself if I do... two surgeries is enough... so I turn to fasting for almost a week at a time.

Usually resulting in fainting. I have landed in the ER twice from fasting in the past six months, where I recieved fluids through an IV.

I am recovering all on my own, no one understands, no one is sympathetic, everyone thinks I should be over it.

I feel so over powered by food. I binge to feel powerful over the food, but I just end up feeling helpless and hopeless. I really need to stop this binging.

I want my life back.

Answer
KG

You need to find a counsellor/therapist as soon as possible.  I think that you will struggle to break these cycles without some professional intervention.

I think that you should approach your family doctor and be completely honest about your behaviours and ask for help.  Any decent Dr should be able to help and shouldn't think that you 'should be over it!'

As for the binging - I think that you just need to try and eat small amounts of healthy food as regularly as you feel you need to.  Try not to have any of the foods that you binge on in, or if you need it for other meals or people, have as little of it as possible in the house.

You need to try and gain control over your eating again, and that will be hard without help!  You need to give your body what it needs when you need it, trying to avoid excessive amounts.

Unfotunately, I can't be of more help.  Other than gaining control, eating little and often, and asking that you seek help, there isn't much else I can suggest!

Please come back if you have any other questions
Holly