Expert: Meg - 10/14/2007

Question
Hello, i'm 16 years old and have thought i was fat since i was about 12, i told my mum this and she said i should not hav even been thinking about my wieght at that age.
I was teased about my weight ALOT, from what i can remember i weighed 60 kgs when i was 14..it really got to me..but i started to lose wieght over the years naturally. My sister gives me sh*t about my wieght because she knows how bad it makes me feel.. About 5 months ago I started skipping meals, only eating a yoghurt every morning i'd weigh myself constantly...and i always wieghed about 50kgs... I have now givin up on the whole "only eating a yoghurt" thing but have begun binging and purging.. my throat gets really sore and im afraid im not going to be able to stop binging and purging ever!! some days i can go without purging and others i purge around 2-5 times. I'm always thinking about if, or when and where i should purge. I even sometimes punish myself because i have purged after a meal by self harming... I'm scared these thoughts and actions are goin to ruin my life.. how do I know if i actually have an eating disorder?

Answer
Hi Summer,

Thanks for your question and I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time right now.  I hope that I can at least point you in some helpful directions and that you can take some steps towards feeling better.

To answer your question, "how do I know if I actually have an eating disorder", I'm going to give you some links to self quizzes that you can take online as well as some sites with helpful information.  

Here are some quizzes for you:

http://psychcentral.com/eatingquiz.htm

http://www.msnbc.com/modules/quizzes/eating_profiler.asp?cp1=1

http://www.healthyplace.com/Communities/Eating_Disorders/concernedcounseling/eat...

And here is a webpage with some helpful information on eating disorders that may help in seeing if you feel that you can relate:

http://www.something-fishy.org/whatarethey/edordiet.php

I'm guessing that after looking the above over, you already are probably a bit clearer.  That said, lets look at this by taking a step back.  Let's say that your little sister (or best friend) came to you and told you that she had been feeling really fat for 4 years.  That she would skip meals, only eat a yogurt and sometimes would binge and purge.  Let's say that she told you that these thoughts were beginning to consume her mind and that she was scared and even self injured sometimes as punishment for eating.  What would you tell her?  Would you think that she had a problem?  I'm guessing that you would (but of course, please do think about it in this way as its sometimes a lot easier to see things in others than in ourselves).

I'm guessing that at least a part of you knows that what is going on is not healthy and that you have a problem as you titled your question "Bad eating habits" (which is accurate).  I want to say that NO ONE deserves to feel badly about her body and punish herself for eating, or do any of the other things that you mentioned.  I don't mean this in a judgmental way at all as I have been where you are and I know that it is confusing and scary to realize that something is off but not be sure if you're really *sick* enough to consider it an eating disorder.  My answer is, yes, this is a problem and its something that is better addressed sooner rather than later.  Hopefully, you can see this as well and can talk with someone you trust about this soon.

You deserve so much better than this and you sound like an intelligent young woman who can live a really wonderful life.  Please know that you can get past these thoughts and be free of this and reaching out for help is the first step.

Hope this helps at least a bit and please feel free to write again if anything in this note isn't clear or if there is anything else I can help with.

Take care,
Meg