Expert: Cheri Purpur - 7/3/2004

Question
My sister-in-law has struggled with bulemia for around 20 years.  She is still struggling even after extensive outpatient programs, inpatient programs, counseling etc. (I don't know the details of how well she works her programs).  My question is...it seems at family gatherings or parties she will inevitably want to take food home with her.  I just had a party and my sister-in-law wanted to take home some cake.   
One time she took a plate of food home from a family dinner-- I told my brother to see if the food made it home--it did not...it was scarfed and purged before she got home.  
Do I/we give her food to take home from social functions? what are we supposed to say to her when she asks to do so?

Thanks so much for any help you can offer,

Laurie

Answer
Hello Laurie. Absolutely nothing you say or do will change her behavior. If you refuse to let her take some food home, she will find a way to sneak some or steal it. Her addiction and addictive behavior is ruling her life and she must be so unhappy. Has she actually been through a 12 step program for eating disorders and food addiction? I believe that only a 12 step program would help her. Feel free to let her take home whatever food she would have eaten at the function, or let her take what you don't need for future use. Hope that helps- Cheri.