Expert: Meg - 5/21/2006

Question
Hi, my name is Kevin. I asked you a question about a week ago about my girlfriend who is frequently in pagaents and who now has a eating disorder. I have given her a a little under a week to try and control this 3 week old habit and she has not done very well. I now fear it is a combination of bulimia and anorexia. I need to know where to get help. I told her that today we were going to tell her parents and that I would be with her no matter what happens. I need to know; Who do I call? Where do I go? and Are there any centers in the northwest indiana area that can help us?

Answer
Hi Kevin,

I'm sorry that your girlfriend is still having trouble and hope that she can find a way to put an end to this all very soon.  Its great that you are so concerned about her and want to help put an end to this, but I do caution you about giving her ultimatums and deadlines.  Quite often, eating disorders can serve the purpose of trying to control food/weight/body in one's life when everything else is feeling pretty out of control.  Its important that this not turn into a power struggle and that you both feel like you are working together.  This will make her more receptive as well as keep her from feeling resentful of you.

In any case, its very good that she has only been engaging in this for 3 weeks and I agree that it is a very good plan for her to put a stop to this now so that it doesn't develop into a more longstanding issue that will be even harder to recover from and become dangerous for her health.  I would guess, at this point, that counseling will be enough to help get her on track and I'm pasting a few treatment finder links for you below.  I did a search for Indiana but I'm not that familiar with your state so I don't know which are closest.  However, it appears that there are many resources that are nearby and hopefully, you can find one that helps.



http://www.something-fishy.org/treatmentfinder/search-3.php

http://www.pale-reflections.com/treatment_finder.asp?page=2

Another option that might be helpful at this point would be to try an ANAD support group.  It might help her, if she is open to going to it, to try this as in my experience, ANAD groups are good in that there are people in various stages of recovery so it can be helpful to find that you're not alone as well as observe how others have gotten better.  Best of all, these groups are usually free so if money is at all an issue, they are a wonderful resource.  Here is link:

http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/content.php?type=1&id=6998

Finally, she might find this bulletin board helpful (I know that I sure did when I was just beginning to get better) so you might want to pass this address along to her.  I believe there is a family/friends option as well if you are interested in that.

http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/content.php?type=1&id=6998

Again, kudos to you for being such a caring boyfriend.  She is really lucky to have you and I hope that she starts to get better very soon.  

Take care and please write again if there is anything else that I can help you or her with.

Best,
Meg