Expert: Joanne - 9/28/2007

Question
Holly,
i have a friend who is very dear to me. she is TINY TINY... 5'5 and 118. I know that is still considered a healthy weight... but she thinks she is obese practically. Her husband found a blog of hers saying how she had to eat in front of her husband, and that it was so hard, and that she had to go heave when she was done cuz she cant stand eating. I don't know what to do. I care abotu her so much, but whenever I try to talk to her about it I offend her. How should I go about caring about her without offending her... is there anything I can say that wont offend her but will open up her eyes? PLUS she LIVES by the scale.. cant live without it.

Answer
As she is an adult, it is very difficult to get her to receive medical treatment unless she is willing - unless she is committed, and as you can imagine, that is usually only done as a last resort.

You just need to let her know that you are there for her when she wants your help and support, and are willing to be unjudgemental and listen.

I think that you should visit www.something-fishy.org and read some of their articles for friends and family to find out how to approach your friend with this.  There are also message boards there for friends and family in which you can ask questions and have other people in your situation answer.

Please come back if there is anything you want to discuss!

Holly