Expert: Meg - 1/16/2005

Question
hello
i am 13 and i think i might have a problem. all of my friends are telling me that they think i might be anorexic, because they are watching me skip lunch, and they know i have skipped other meals in the past. Although i am very afraid of becoming fat, i do not think i am really anorexic. I am just a teenager...thats what i think. it is normal for teens to be concerned with their weight. however, i want to know if it is at all possible to become convinced that you are an anorexic, becuase i think that is what is starting ot happen to me. I have made a habbit of attempting to starve myself once every week, with the exception of dinner, because my parents will notice if i dont eat dinner. I have also started to limit the amount of food i eat in general, and it all started after they began telling me i was anorexic. i do not want you to help me by convincing me to eat more, i just want to know if it is possible to be convinced that you have anorexia, and in your opinion what you think is happening to me...
thanks

Answer
Hi there,

Thanks for your note and I hope that I can help you figure out what is going on a bit.  

It sounds like your friends are worried due to your skipping lunches at school and that there is at least a little part of you that is concerned that perhaps you are heading in a not so healthy direction.  I really applaud your maturity to be able to see that there may be a problem and hope that you'll continue to look at this so that you don't get really sick with an eating disorder and miss out on your teen years (as happens the more caught up in this cycle that one gets).

I agree with you in a way that it is somewhat normal in your teen years to be conscious about your body and the fact that you're growing and getting a more developed body.  Also, with the culture we live in so obsessed with celebrity, its hard not to be somewhat influenced by everything you're bombarded with on tv, in magazine, etc.  THAT SAID, there is definitely a difference between the normal body angst that one might face in the process of growing up and the obsession of an eating disorder.  

From your note, I notice that you say that you are regularly skipping lunch (and sometimes other meals) and that you are starving yourself once a week.  It may help to look at it this way...if your best friend/little sister/someone you care about was behaving in this way, would you be concerned for her?  My guess is that by looking at it in this way, you will see that your behavior is not really healthy (especially as at 13, you are growing and its so important that your body get all the nutrients it needs) and may be something you want to take a closer look at.

I'm going to cut and paste a little eating disorder questionaire here from www.something-fishy.org (a very helpful website with much more information that you may want to check out):

http://www.something-fishy.org/isf/questionnaire.php
(here is a link to a good diagnostic quiz)

and here is an actual quiz from www.anred.com:

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Are you at risk? Take a self-test
The following questionnaire can help you decide if you have an eating disorder, or if you are at risk of developing one. The easiest way to take the test is to print it out and then check the items that describe you. Then read the explanatory paragraph at the end.

The test and your visit to this Web site are anonymous.

Even though people tell me I'm thin, I feel fat.

I get anxious if I can't exercise.

[Female] My menstrual periods are irregular or absent.
[Male] My sex drive is not as strong as it used to be.

I worry about what I will eat.

If I gain weight, I get anxious and depressed.

I would rather eat by myself than with family or friends.

Other people talk about the way I eat.

I get anxious when people urge me to eat.

I don't talk much about my fear of being fat because no one understands how I feel.

I enjoy cooking for others, but I usually don't eat what I've cooked.

I have a secret stash of food.

When I eat, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop.

I lie about what I eat.

I don't like to be bothered or interrupted when I'm eating.

If I were thinner, I would like myself better.

I like to read recipes, cookbooks, calorie charts, and books about dieting and exercise.

I have missed work or school because of my weight or eating habits.

I tend to be depressed and irritable.

I feel guilty when I eat.

I avoid some people because they bug me about the way I eat.

When I eat, I feel bloated and fat.

My eating habits and fear of food interfere with friendships or romantic relationships.

I binge eat.

I do strange things with my food (cut it into tiny pieces, eat it in special ways, eat it on special dishes with special utensils, make patterns on my plate with it, secretly throw it away, give it to the dog, hide it, spit it out before I swallow, etc.)

I get anxious when people watch me eat.

I am hardly ever satisfied with myself.

I vomit or take laxatives to control my weight.

I want to be thinner than my friends.

I have said or thought, "I would rather die than be fat."

I have stolen food, laxatives, or diet pills from stores or from other people.

I have fasted to lose weight.  

In romantic moments, I cannot let myself go because I am worried about my fat and flab.

I have noticed one or more of the following: cold hands and feet, dry skin, thinning hair, fragile nails, swollen glands in my neck, dental cavities, dizziness, weakness, fainting, rapid or irregular heartbeat.





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As strange as it seems in our thin-obsessed society, none of the above behaviors is normal or healthy. The more items you have checked, the more serious your problem may be. Please check with your physician or a qualified mental health counselor to prevent medical and psychological problems. You could show the person this questionnaire and the items you have circled as a way to begin the conversation.

People do recover from eating disorders, but almost all of those who do, need professional help to get back on track. We know this is hard, and we appreciate your courage as you take the first step by calling today to make an appointment with your physician or counselor.

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I hope this helps a little bit.  Its nearly impossible for me to tell you online if you have a problem, but it sounds to me like you definitely are getting consumed with your weight/body image and this often leads down the path to developing an eating disorder.  

If you take an honest look at the quiz and do feel like you are heading in that direction, I urge you to talk to someone (a parent/school counselor/someone you trust) about this sooner rather than later.  The longer these behaviors and the obsession with your weight goes on, the harder it is to beat and the less time you have for enjoying life-and the more will be spent on just trying to get by and get better.  You deserve more than that.

Please feel free to email me again if there is anything else I can do for you or if you need more clarification.

Good luck and please do take care,
Meg