AboutMeg Expertise I am recovinging from about nine years with my eating disorder and while I am not a psychologist, I`ve accumulated a good deal of knowlege about eating disorders as well as my own experience over this time. I`ve mainly struggled with anorexia, but have definitely had times where I have engaged in bulimic behaviors as well. I also struggle with over exercising, but am about to be certified as a personal trainer and have learned moderation as well as how to treat my body well so it can perform at it`s best. I promise to give an honest answer to anything asked, and I want to say that while it is a long, scary road---it is possible to get free of this and it is so important to keep on taking little steps and knowing that you are not alone.
Experience Sufferer for nine plus years. Also, my Mom has strugged with this issue- as have others in her side of the family.
Question thank meg for spending so much time to answer my questions. unfortunately there is no doc out there that can help me. I do not have the money to pay for the them. My weight still has not stopped going up and I am still binging. I'm still in the process of stopping it but it's been hard. I guess I should say I'm a bit lucky since some people probably will not recover on their own. I'm still wondering why my body is recovering and forced me to binge up to 5000 calories a day. I thought maybe you would know.anyways, I don'tknow if I can keep my job since I declined the photo shoot at the end of this month. i'm feeling very bad about this so i'm just here to thank you for listening to me cos' i really need someone to hear me.
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Iam still wondering if my metabolism is really messed up. Last wednesday I weighed 108, now I weigh 113. I guess it was caused by the binges. i guess i gain like that whenever i binge aoe 2000 calories. the docs keep telling me it was not bad for my body and my parents are glad b/c iwas no longer anorexic. it's so hard..
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despite the fact tht you say it is normal, i still eat up to 3000-6000 calories A day somy weight keeps goin up. i'm scared and so uphappy
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meg, right now i'm trying to get my body to be regular so it's not always so voraciously hungry. i try to eat wenever it needs food. it's so hard cos' every tim i eat, it wants more. when will my metabolism get back to normal. does this constant hunger mean my metabolism is crewed up how will i know if my metabolism is "fixed"?
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it's been two months now and my weight has settled to a stubborn 110. I tried going on a diet and exrcise but alwaysend up binging on the third day. I dunno what to do. any ideas on how i should go about it.
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meg, i hope you remembr writing to me...
I was eating only fruits and vegetables for three years and have lost 30 lbs. i was only 88 lbs. now that i started refeeding, i binge and binge and now i'm 110 pounds. you told me a few months ago that my weight will level off. ell, it sorta did cos' right now i'm 110 pounds for a month now. i went to see a doc and all he said was that it is good for me body since i needed the weight. as you know, i am a model so i need to lose the weight again. i tried everyhing except binging and purging and i do not intend to. please help me, i can easilybinge up to 2000 calories in one sitting. right now, i think i shoiuld concentrate on contoling my appetite before i start to lose weight again. i will have to postpone my modeling work that's set at the end of april.
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Hi Candy,
First off, my apologies for taking a few days to get back to you. For some reason, I didn't receive your question notification.
In any case, I totally remember you and I'm glad to hear that you're still working towards recovery, although I'm sorry that you're feeing a bit flustered right now. Although you may not want to hear this, it can take a little time for your body to get back to normal and while it sounds like you are your way in terms of that happening but it might take a little longer before your body is even ready to lose weight again. It really needs to get healthy again and start functioning properly and also have that consistence so that it won't think its still starving. So, while I understand your feeling like you need to lose weight now, I hope you can be as patient as possible and hang in there for a bit longer. Also, I don't remember how tall you are, but 110 is a pretty low weight (even for models) so I would suggest trying to be as objective as possible about if you *really* need to lose weight.
I absolutely understand wanting to get your appetite under control and there are things you can do to try to do this, but again I really feel that your body has to fully recover and know its not going to starve before your eating will level out. However, one trick that works is when you start eating, make sure that you sit down and take your time. Don't be watching tv, reading, on the computer, whatever but just take the time and take a bite and then then wait and take another (and so on). Often, when we binge, it starts by one's brain kind of shutting off and the eating becomes somewhat automatic. If you can find a way to be mindful while you are eating, then it is often possible to get in front of binge and stop it before it starts. Another good tip is to plan out your meal or snack beforehand and then only take out the portion that you want to eat (make sure its a healthy portion and not an anorexic one ;) and then eat it and afterwards plan something (even a walk around the block, calling a friend, etc) to do so that you won't have the time for a binge.
I hope this helps at least a little and feel free to write again if you need more ideas or if anything in this note wasn't clear. And again, I'm so sorry for taking a few days to get your question.
I hope this finds you well!
Take care,
Meg
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Hey Candy,
I don't know that you're going to like my answer (sorry) but I think that you may have to let your body fully recover before even thinking about losing weight. It's also possible that 110 is the weight your body needs/wants to be right now-if it's settled there. Its still a very low weight. If anything, perhaps try doing pilates and work on toning your body as you probably don't need to and thus are going to have a hard time losing weight right now.
Hope this helps!
Meg
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Hey Candy,
Actually, in my experience, the hunger means that your body *is* getting back to normal. When you were really sick, you probably got to the point that you lost your hunger (or at least you lost touch with your body's hunger signals). Its good that you're hungry (even if the eating disordered part of your brain says otherwise) and I promise you that even if it feels overwhelming right now, you will get to the point where you don't feel starving all the time. Things will level out, but it takes time and I know that this is hard. You just have to trust me, and others who have been through this, that it will even out. And, yes, unfortunately sometimes it does take a little while (and almost always, it takes longer than we would like).
Again, the best advice I can give is to try to keep living your life and put your focus on stuff other than food right now. Let your body eat and normalize, which it sounds like you're on the way to doing. Its good that your weight has leveled off and its good that you're hungry. These are signs that your body IS indeed getting back to normal. You just have to hang in there and let the recovery process that you have so bravely started finish out. I promise you that it will get easier, its worth it and you won't get fat.
Take care, okay? You can do it!
Best,
Meg
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Hi Candy,
I know, it can be scary and probably feels out of control. Honestly, it really might be helpful to find a therapist and nutritionist who can guide you through this as recovery can be very difficult and complex. As you are finding, there are a lot of feelings that come with eating again as well as trying to let your body readjust. Many people find working with someone during this time helpful (even if they are initially resistant).
Here is a link to a fairly comprehensive treatment finder.
www.something-fishy.org/treatmentfinder/
I hope that today has been a better day for you. Hang in there, okay?
Meg
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Hey Candy,
I know. It *is* very hard and I really feel for you as I know it probably seems like it will never get better. At least it felt that way for me. I promise you that it will, but I know that is probably not enough consolation at the moment.
How are you doing otherwise? Are there other areas of your life that you can focus on for the time being (until your body evens out)? This may really help.
I still think that your metabolism is probably fine, but just readjusting itself after being starved for such a long time. Hang in there, okay?
Take care,
Meg
Answer Hi Candy,
I'm sorry that you're still having a hard time. It really can take awhile for one's body to physically recover (hence the binges) and also mentally/emotionally recover (which includes the ending of the obsessive thoughts about weight/food/body amongst other things). Your strength to continue on despite how difficult this is right now shows a whole lot of inner strength and even if you can't see that right now, I can and know that you can beat this.
I know that paying for doctors/therapists and treatment can be too much for many people. There are, however, some good free options (depending on where you live) that might be of help. First off, while they are pretty specific in stating that this message board is not meant to take the place of a therapist, the Something's Fishy support board is a good place to meet others who are also recovering and going through the same stuff that you are. It helps to see people getting better as well as to have a place to vent when you have tough days and know that people will really "get it". Here is the web address for it:
Also, there are free support groups (which might be great for you as again, you could see others who are getting through it and also have people who are on the same page and want to work together to get better). Here is the web link for them:
Otherwise, the best thing I can say is try to focus on other things in your life right now. I know that this is difficult and goes against everything the eating disordered part of your brain is telling you-but if you do this and let your body recover however it needs to, you will get back to normal and the binging will stop as your body finally gets adjusted. Another thing you might want to do is look at what foods you are binging on. Its possible that your diet is lacking in something (protein, fats, carbs, etc) and because of that deficeit, your body is craving and causing you to overeat to get whatever it needs. So, if you really see no reason that you're still binging, this might be one thing to check out. On the other hand, because you restricted on such a limited diet for such a long time, its possible that your body is just catching up and will have to do this a little longer. Honestly, the more you can not stress and just try to focus on other stuff, the quicker this will pass and the less miserable you will be. I know its not easy, and I hope I don't sound like I think it is. But, I also know that you can do it.
Hang in there and keep fighting, okay? Write anytime!
