Expert: Reverend Abbott - 7/13/2006

Question
Hallo ,
isn't this scary?But the question is,is this scary enough for me?I'm not gonna eat tonight because is too late,so i will find out tomorrow.Is past midnight here and I cant sleep again...
I do not want to end like Terry or die in the toilet.Your e-mail made me cry....
It is so hard,how can I go to my doctor,and say "hi i have ED" and i lied to you for last 2 years?What is she gonna think?I tryed to look on the web site for some specialist here in Ireland,but everywhere you need referral letter from GP,and I don't have the heart to tell her.
Also another thing is that my job which I really love would be in jeopardy,because when I signed contract three years ago,i had to sign that I do not suffer from any ED.
So I'm in the middle of something and for the first time ever I cant control situation I'm in.
This is NOT the way i want to live,why did I ever start with it.?
I really don't know what  to say,the  e-mail really made me think.
Thank you for your quick response.
If possible,i would like to talk to you again soon.
Thank you
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Followup To

Question -
Hi,
I'm 31 years old.My eating disorder started about 10 years ago.I was not able to find up to this moment if i suffer from anorexia or bulimia or both.
Inm my 20 i was overwaight,used to wait about 95-100 kg.Then i discovered if i get sick after meal that i could loose wait,and i did.In short time 4-5 months my waight was on 60 kg.I feelt great at that time,what i didnt know,that i will have to continue in getting sick ever so often to keep my waight.Its been 10 years now,i never told anyone.
I do not overeat,i would not be able to consume big amout of food and never did,but i do get sick after nearly every meal i have.That could be 3-4 a day.Exccept work,where i have to be very carefull.Every time there is something in my stomach i have this feeling it has to go out...I'm so tired now.About 2 years ago my husband started drinkin,and thinks became so bad,that i end up with barring order against my husband,so now he is gone and i wont see him until september(court hearing).This is not helping me either.
Recently i messured my BMI,and i wasnt' happy with the result,because told me that i'm still overwaight.I'm 170 cm and waight 69 kg,last few months i went from size 18 down to size 12(again lost 30 kg).I dont know what to think.
Here come my questions...
My waight is not as low as some people have if they have ED,and i'm well aware of consecvences this my have on my health.But i know it might sounds funny,am'i at the same risk  as people with much lower waight?
Last year i was diagnosed with an ulcer,this ear by follow up the ulcer is gone,but got me self esophygitis.Only i know why,i been liyng to everyone,and it does not feel good at all,because i'm not like that.My general health is not good,pain in my belly,legs,dailly headeachs,and i feel so cold all the time.Also next week i'm gona have surgery on my ear under GA,and i'm so afraid that this would put my heart under great risk(togheter with my smoking 20 a day,drinking coffee at least 10 a day and my ED),i know that the anestesiologist gona ask me questions,but i dont think that i have the power to tell him about my ED,even so i know that would be the right think to do.
I'm so embarest about the whole think,but also afraid of possible consecvences this my bring.  

Answer
I am trying very hard to scare you. I want very much for you to live. The only way this will happen is if you get scared.

As for telling your doctor, YES, tell them you lied. This is what people with ED's do. We lie. We're very, very good at it. We are masters of lies. We do a really good job of hiding it too.

Like I said, print out a page of information that best describes you and just hand it to them, say, 'this is me' and explain you want to stop.

I did this for more than 30 years (without purging; I used exercise bulimia, chew&spit and had full blown anorexia a few times). The heart damage that was done is permanent and I have to take a pill every day; eventually I'll need a pacemaker or something else.  I've got partial kidney failure too and bone loss. My hair never came back to what it used to be.

I'll do whatever I can to stop you before it goes this far or before your family has to dig your grave.

Yes. I do expect you to tell your doctor. This is your life at stake.  You said yourself that lying doesn't feel good - the only way to fix things is to stop lying and the only way to do that is to tell the truth.

It's pretty simple. Take that leap of faith.