Expert: Meg - 10/19/2006

Question
I am a 25 yr old female that embraced anorexia at the age of 16.  I starved myself for a few years and then my parents figured out what I was doing.  I decided to turn to bulimia instead to trick them into thinking that I was over my "phase".  I binged and purged from the age of 20 to 23.  I thought I was over the whole eating disorder mess at 23 when I decided to stop putting my fingers down my throat.....but now I am not so sure.  My boyfriend took a picture of me that horrified me.  I could literally count every rib in my chest.  My upper torso has no fat on it and by the looks of the picture....no meat either.  I knew I had bad eating habits but now I am wondering if somehow I tricked myself into thinking I was recovered.  I eat one or two meals a day that are usually very small.  Most days I eat one meal which might consist of a single banana.  I do not think I am fat, don't count calories, and do not really exercise.  Am I right about this suspicion?  Am I still considered anorexic?

Answer
Hi Rachel,

Thanks for your question and I'm sorry that you are going through this.  Its good that you are aware that there still might be a problem, though-and hopefully you can now take some steps towards really getting healthy and recovering.

While I can only guess if you are still officially considered anorexic, I can say with absolute certainty that you are still in the midst of a serious eating disorder based on the information you have shared with me.  

If you are living off of one  banana some days, then you are definitely heavily restricting and I would guess this would put you in the realm of anorexia.  It is also extremely unhealthy and very hard on your body.

Its good that you got past bingeing and purging (as that is not easy) and that you don't think that you're fat nor do you count calories or exercise too much.  I am wondering, then, if you were to decide to eat 3 meals a day and increase your caloric intake, if you would be okay with that.  If so, then all you need to do is consult with a nutritionist who can help you find a healthier meal plan.  However, my guess is that the notion of normal/healthy eating is probably pretty scary (which is understandable and normal, considering that you have been dealing with this for quite some time now and the eating disordered thinking is most likely very ingrained by this point).  

If the second scenario rings true for you, then you might need to think about  getting some type of professional help or support so that you can recover and get healthy.  You also should be sure that you have/are visiting your regular medical doctor as 9 years of this behavior certainly have an impact on one's health and its important for him or her to stay on top of things.  I know that I didn't have a lot of physical problems until about 8 or 9 years and then my body was pretty weekend and I started having more of them.

It really does sound like you have a ways to go and that it would be helpful for you to start working on this ASAP.  Even you were able to see that you are skin and bones and that your eating habits are not healthy yet.

Here are some good resources for more information/finding treatment (if you so choose):

http://www.something-fishy.org/treatmentfinder/

http://www.caringonline.com/eatdis/support.htm

http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/section.php?id=11650

and here is an article that might be helpful for you as well:

http://www.poppink.com/anorexia.html

I hope this helps at least a little bit and wish you the best as you deal with this.  Please feel free to write again if anything in this response is not clear or if there is anything else that I can help with.

Best,
Meg