Expert: Meg - 12/4/2006

Question
sometimes i just start thinking how i wished to get sick like getting mono or something like so i can stop eating or getting food poisioning so i will get sick and throw up and lose weight. i've already tried drinking old milk and old food trying to get sick..  i was wondering why i do this its not normal and if there's anyone who has done that also or am i the only one?

Answer
Hi Marissa,

Thanks for your question and I'm sorry that you are going through this.  Yes, I definitely think that what is going on is a problem and feel that there is at least a part of you that knows this as well.  

As for why you do this, that is probably a complex thing.  It sounds like you are trying to lose weight, correct?  And, as you mention, eating spoiled food might make you sick and cause you to lose weight that way.  However, doing this in such an extreme way suggests to me that you are feeling a little bit self destructive or else pushing your limits in some way.  

I have heard of other people who have an eating disorder or else are really not liking themselves doing this as a kind of punishment and I would definitely say that your body deserves better treatment than this and that its worth figuring out what is going on and putting an end to this.

You might want to try talking with a counselor as I would think they can help you figure out exactly why you are doing this to yourself.

That said, when you have doubts as to if its okay or normal, look at it this way.  What if your little sister/cousin/someone you care about was doing this.  I'm quite sure that you'd  be very concerned and worried for this person's wellbeing.  

I'm wondering (and this is just something for you to think about), WHY is it so important to you to be thin right now?  What else is going on that is causing you to want to hurt yourself to achieve this goal?  These are the type of questions that a good therapist can help you with.

I hope that you continue to explore what is going on and that you understand that you don't deserve this and there is a way out.

Please take care and feel free to write again if I can be of anymore help.

Best,
Meg