Expert: Robert M. Kalman - 6/28/2004

Question
Dear Mr. Kalman,
           I am 19 and I have a younger sister who is 15 and looks up to me very much. She is an excellent athlete and competes on the varsity track and swim team as well as in triathalons. She is the most fit person in my family and among her friends. My mother is a nutritionist and is very concerned that we eat healthy and I think that in combination with her athletic obsession with exercise has made her unhealthily concerned with her weight and diet. She is not fat, but has large muscular thighs and arms so I can imagine that she could convince herself that she is fat, especially in comparison to me as I am petite and pretty weak (I was premature). Reading popular magazines also doesn't help with her image, and she reads them a lot.

I was in her room and read her diet plan for the summer and I was shocked. She is restricting herself from eating most foods except for vegetables and fruit (my mother's influence gone awry). I don't think she is at a bulimic stage yet, but I worry that she might drive herself to that. As she is also going off to summer school by herself this summer, I am worried that no one there will notice her strange eating habits. I also do not know how to confront her about this "diet" plan. Could you possibly give me some advice on how discourage her in a way that she would be receptive to? It is very hard to counter the influence of the media nowadays and as I also won't be living with her (I go to college), it is hard to monitor my influence and her behaviour.

Thank you very much, Dorothy

Answer
Dorothy, I admire that you care about your sister. Also, it sounds as though your mother has been a positive influence in the way you and your sister eat. Your sister sounds like quite a  little athlete. I assume that your family is behind her 100% as far as her sports interest. I really don't see too much of a problem here. The fact that your sister has a DIET PLAN, is a very inteligent idea. I happen to believe that eating fruits and vegatables sounds like a sound decision. Athletes need to eat more frequently,and eat healthy food. A lot of triathletes eat mostly fruits and vegatables. I see no reason to be concerned about her diet. She will naturally migrate to the place she gets the most positive attention. I really appreciate that you are concerned, but at this time I see no signals of bulimia or anorexia..But, If it will make you feel better  you might make a some kind of humorous remark about her turning into a vegatable if thats all she is eating.. She will feel attacked if you confront her. After all she may be a lot smarter than you give her credit for. I wish more people were like you! You obviously have a lot of Love and respect for your sibling. Your parents deserve a reward. Thanks for writing.. Robert