Expert: Rev. Ke`ala Richardson - 11/8/2004

Question
Im not sure what to do and who to turn to. I dunno whether I have an eating disorder or not but people around me are starting to get worried and that has sorta opened my eyes.

Im not like those people who feels fat all the time and Im not the sorta person who spews after a meal, but its different. Thats why Im confused.

I dunno I just have these, I dunno what to call it, "voices" in my head that tell me what to do. Well not really voices but Im not sure how to explain it. But they just tell me I'll be fine without eating. I dont have to eat if I dont want to. And when I eat, I feel so sick, just sitting here writing this, I feel like I need to be sick. But I am never sick physically. I think I trick myself into thinking that I am sick, so I dont eat. I use that as an excuse not to eat. This has been happeneing for about 4 months or so now and it really does feel like im sick. Sometimes it just lasts for the morning but sometimes it goes into the day too.

I try to force myself to eat. But sometimes its hard. I never not eat anything during the day. Half a peice of toast at the least but Im kinda getting annoyed at having to force myself to eat and trying to fight the "voices" all the time. Sometimes I give into the voices, sometimes I eat. I feel ashamed about this. And I dont say much but people are starting to notice, like my dad the other day, noticed when I only ate 3 spoons of spagetti at night and I said I have eaten lots during the day when infact I have only eat a peice of toast and had a glass of juice.

I dunno what else to write. There are all these sites for people with annorexia and bullima but Im not like that. Im just confused. Im wierd Im sure...

Please help me if you can...

Answer
Aloha,something is definitely out of kilter here. You might have a physical problem but I think it is something else. I am going to go out on a limb here,.... have you had any encounters with quiji boards or dark sided things lately or do you feel vulnerable?  I think you may have picked up some negative energies that are influencing you right now. It may be emotionally rooted or not. Please go to my web sites http://www.healthretreats.info and http://eating-disorder-recovery.com/clearingnegativeenergy.htm  and see if any of that resonated with you.
I think you need to go to our self help pages and look at the grounding exercise and the ho'oponopono one too.
Let me know by emailing me at keala@e-mailhawaii.net.
Good luck you need it right now. Blessings _ Keala