Expert: Reverend Abbott - 7/2/2006

Question
When I was younger my guidance counsler had suggested that i was both anorexic and bulimiac. I at the time either ate and threw up or barely ate anything. I to me was very succesful at this. I'm 25 with now 2 kids. But now 8 months later and i'm not even a size 5. It kills me. one problem is both kids were a c-section. I cant even loose at least 10lbs. At one time 120lbs seemed to much but at 134 i would love to be that. I've already lost ten teeth. For awile i turned to alcohol. I only know one way to loose weight. But i cant seem to go back to that way. i know it's bad to say but i want to go back to that way. I dont really know how to deal with this. I feel like if i could get a good hold of this i could loose the 15-20lbs I want to. I dont now how to be comfortable and happy like this. I feel so  fat and discusting, even though my husband likes everything about me. all i want is to have the control i used to.  

Answer
You're stressing about a number. You need to keep that in perspective. Are you aware that children as young as 1 and 2 years old can pick up eating disorder habits from parents and have full blown problems as young as 5 years old? Yes, 5 year old anorexic, chronic dieters. How sad is that? Every single one of the parents insist that they don't do it in front of the kids, but, kids are so much more aware than we are. After all, they only have US to focus on.

I think you're trying too hard and sabotaging yourself. This soon after childbirth, the body is still instinctively doing it what it has to in order to insure your survival for the care of the child.

You say it all in your last sentence ("all I want is to have the control I used to"). This isn't so much about weight as it is about being who and what you were before becoming a mother and wife. It's hard to let go of what we perceive our youth to be, even if it was a relatively negative experience!  ALL anorexics have control issues. 100% of them. Anorexia isn't a diet, it's a mental disorder. It's not temporary, the tendencies are forever, even though they may be in a remission of sorts.  But, just like the alcoholic doesn't need to be drinking to be an alcoholic, the sufferer of a psychological disorder doesn't need to display the symptoms just one way.
Anorexics are not just control addicts, they are usually very neat, orderly and list-oriented. If things don't go as planned or are in their proper place, the anorexic personality will have issues over this.
Anorexics think that few people can do things the way they can, or as well. They don't delegate much and end up under a lot of pressure and stress, often working multiple jobs and long hours, being 'snappy' and impatient.
They are usually early for an appointment, rarely late.

It's not about food. You see?

I've been there. I really know.

Check my site for healthy eating and how to beat this. How to stop living for a number and live for the differences you make on this planet instead
  www.GetTheReal.info