Anorexia/Eating Disorders/worried

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Expert: Katie - 12/14/2007


Question
Hi Katie,

I am so glad i can talk to someone about why i am worried about myself. To make a long story short, i fear of getting fat, and when i look in the mirror i see slim, but something keeps telling me that i can still lose more.

I know i eat well (maybe too well :D ) but lately i have been feeling reallllly guilty after eating meals or "grazing foods" so i make myself exercise. a few times i have caught myself provoking vomiting, but never did since i talked myself out of it. i really am worried because i dont want to get an eating disorder, but something inside of me tells me to keep working out and lately i have really been controlling what i eat. I am 168cm high and weigh 48kg i have lost 1.5kg in a short period of time, is this a normal BMI?.
i really appreciate you reading this
looking forward for a reply
leah xx

Answer
Hi Leah! Thank you for the question. My deepest apologies regarding the delay in answering. I am a collegiate athlete and have been out of state throughout the past week due to matches, and have had finals on top of that, therefore have been unable to tend to my questions. My apologies for keeping you waiting.

Congratulations on reaching out and trying to get help before you spiral into an eating disorder. You should feel very proud for being able to recognize the signs, listening to your body, and helping yourself ahead of time. It seems as though you may be on the cusp of developing an eating disorder known as "exercise bulimia." This is when someone "purges" their food intake through excessive and sometimes unhealthy amounts of exercise. Does this sound similar to what you are, or may be beginning to do? Eating disorders are addictions, just as alcoholism and drug abuse is, and the compulsive behavior that constitutes an eating disorder, is addicting, and will quickly spiral out of control, that is, if you allow it. It is important that you take precautions NOW, so that you do not end up with a serious eating disorder.

You are very lucky, as you lack one of the biggest indicators of an eating disorder- as you said, when you look into a mirror you see "slim", as opposed to "fat." Most girls effected with eating disorders oftentimes see "morbidly obese" staring back at them when they look into a mirror, even when they are sometimes, in fact, severely underweight. You seem to (as of right now) lack this body dysmorphia, which is a great sign! Also, you had the ability to stop yourself once you induced vomiting after meals, some are addicted at the first try.

Like I touched on earlier, it is important that you take steps now to protect yourself from a potential eating disorder, so that you can continue on a path of happiness and healthiness. There are a number of things you can do to achieve this. Have you ever thought about possibly seeing a therapist? Or some sort of a counselor? The reason I suggest this is because eating disorders (even in their beginning stages) are oftentimes caused by underlying emotional issues that may need to be dealt with and addressed. A counselor or therapist will help you to do this, and help you understand the reasons as to why you feel the need to become thinner, as well as pinpoint the reasoning as to why you feel guilty for eating. As human beings, we should never feel guilty about eating. Our bodies were designed to have food be our number one supply of fuel for energy. It is necessary for our survival, and is key in living a happy, healthy, well-rounded life. A therapist or counselor will help you to combat these feelings of guilt, and they will help to address why they exist in the first place, so that they (hopefully) will not return in the future.

I hope this helped! If you have any further questions, feel free to ask. Best of luck, and happy holidays.

Anorexia/Eating Disorders

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Katie

Expertise

I can answer (at least to the best of my ability) any question or concern you may have pertaining to eating disorders. I have been deeply touched and effected by these devastating diseases, as I have suffered through them myself for years, and I feel that I definitely have the ability to help others who may be going through the same thing. These diseases tend to give the disordered a feeling of helplessness and aloneness, and there is no feeling more frustrating than trying to reach out to someone who just doesn't understand (as those not effected with the disorder have the inability to do), and who is dismissive of your disease. I have experienced all of that, which is why I am here to help. I've suffered through both anorexia and bulimia for seven years, and I've experienced and been through it all, and my only purpose in doing this is to help those who may be in the midst of an eating disorder themselves. I am not here to criticize you, I am only here to shed a little bit of light in your tunnel, and to do the best I can to help you. While I am not a doctor, I will try to the best of my ability to answer each question I receive with as much honesty, compassion, and heart as I can. Most likely whatever it is you're going through at the moment, I have been there too, so I can help by drawing from my own experiences. My biggest goal would be for eating disorders to be alleviated altogether, but until that happens, I am here to help.

Experience

I have suffered through both severe bulimia, as well as severe anorexia, for seven years. I have done extensive research on these diseases throughout the years, in an attempt to understand them better and to help guide myself through the very difficult path to recovery. I have received some help from others along the way, in order to make the road a little less lonely, and I have acquired some tools myself, that I believe have helped me to better combat these difficult diseases, and the emotions that usually accompany them. I have learned (although it took many, many years) to see my eating disorders as learning experiences, and as tools to use to better understand myself, and perhaps I can help you to do the same. Or perhaps I can help lead you to a healthier path, avoid reaching the point where your eating disorder may seem beyond repair (I've been there, and I've learned that it is never too late to seek help, or to prevail over this disease), or to help open your eyes to all of the wonderful aspects of a life free of eating disorders. I believe that I was given this disease for a reason, which has been to use my own painful battle with eating disorders and turn it into what may be a bit of hope for someone else who is suffering through what I had gone through. I am passionate about the positive awareness and ultimately the elimination of these diseases, and our media seems to portray eating disorders in a very, very inaccurate and unhealthy light, which often encourages these diseases, or discourages those who suffer from them in getting the help that they deserve. I am here to help, and I will do so to the best of my ability.

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