Expert: Ralph Salier - 1/6/2010

Question
What are lines, phrases one can use in dealing with european cultures from an asian indian stand point. How can one cut across cultures  and what can one say to build trust in situations where one is seeking work and friendships.
Are there any books on lines or resources that guide one as to how to structure phrases and what to say to mimimize intercultural misunderstandings....

Answer
Hi Sam,

Being able to communicate across cultures is never an easy task.  Some times even within a culture this can be hard.  For instance, in China, the people of Bejing and the people of Shanghai both speak Mandarin but because of regional dialects can not understand each other!  In some ways, here in the states, if you have some one who is from Macon, Georgia, may not understand someone from Boston, Mass., due  to regional differences.  Some times it is a gender difference as well as in Japan where the Japanese spoken by women is different from that of men.  So, there are many reasons for miscommunications across cultures.  

Here are  some rules however, that may help you:

Here are some "Don'ts"

1) Never shout to be understood
2) NEVER use inappropriate language or words (curse words or foul language)
3) Avoid words that have more then one meaning
4) Avoid using sports terminology or historical references unless you feel very confident that the other person will understand them
5) Avoid using tech talk, unless the other person is clearly a techy
6) Avoid using slang or idioms since in some parts of a given culture these may be viewed negatively
7) Avoid negative/positive questions (ex: You aren't coming are you?)
8) Avoid making jokes or trying to translate jokes from one language to another, they rarely mean the same and it can cause embarrassment.

Remember this one:

9) Silence in some cultures is as meaningful as the spoken word.  Learn to respect the silence, don't fill it just to hear yourself.

Here are some "Do's"

10) Learn the local language.  The English you may have learned in India is British English and there are some significant differences between British English and American English.  Don't be afraid to make mistakes, ask for the correct phrasiology when you do so that you can learn.
11) Address people formally until they give you permission to be less formal.  In the US, that will tend to happen quickly unless it is your supervisor, manager or boss.  Retain the formality unless told otherwise.
12) Keep your words and phrases straight forward and simple.  
13) Speak at a moderate speed.  Often times, people from India will speak very fast and you will loose the others who are listening.
14) Learn and tune into  the NON_VERBAL side of language, the body composure, eye movements, but be careful of hand gestures!
15) Speak humbly, don't use a lot of hyperbole
16) Speak to build relationships, so develop "friendly topics of conversation" (ex.: the local favorite sports, the weather, the best seller's books, the local business climate, shopping in general.  Subjects you are interested in as well - but out side of work.
17) Be an active listener, acknowledge with a nod of the head or a sympathetic "oh" as appropriate.  

Here are some more tid-bits:

Don't talk about Politics, Religion or SEX, these are taboo's in the US culture.  People will try to draw you in with Politics or Religion, it is important to avoid these subjects.

Do not opine - In other words, don't make comparisons between the US and India, this is not appreciated in the US

Be a student of our culture.  If you don't understand, ask.  BUT BE Polite

When people ask about India, be a teacher, explain the differences and similarities.



I hope that these will help you.  Don't hesitate to ask more questions.  With me you can be quite explicit and ask what ever you want.  

I am a certified cross cultural trainer and consultant.