Expert: Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist - 11/18/2011

Question
QUESTION: I am a female research scholar from India.  I am doing research for last 4 years. Now I am about to submit my PhD thesis.
 I have been always anxious throughout last 4 years. I tried to find the cause but failed. My guide is good. Though I have some problems with him but compare to others he is really good. His only problem is he is very ambitious and always compares me with different talented people and scolds me. I feel so bad. He is not happy with me, he is always happy with the students of other guides. His expression is always like that , he is very unlucky to have me as his student. But he kept me in all his projects and gives me a lot of work without asking my permission. Sometimes I think that I would leave him. Sometimes I think that what shall I get if I left him now?  I do not know I am confused. Always in an anxiety, always in a suppressed tension.
      I am married. Happily. I was pregnant in last May. But when I thought that I had to tell him ( my guide) I felt anxious. Gone through an abortion.
    Now I am writing my thesis and my guide is always pressurizing me for betterment. But somehow I feel I am saturated I can’t do better. Now, he is out of the town. I cannot concentrate on my work for last few weeks. When I open up the pages on which I have to do work I going through a severe repulsion. I have taken a break and gone to enjoy a holiday for 15 days. But nothing has changed. It’s like a circular motion, I cannot concentrate on my work because I am feeling repulsion, so I am wasting time, getting anxious and that’s why again cannot concentrate on my work.
       Another point I want to tell you that I am suffering due different types of diseases for last 2 months, like gut-infection, urine-infection etc. Now for last 2 weeks I am feeling very sleepy always, but I am not taking any sort of drugs which can make sleepy. Another peculiar feeling I am having for last 2 days, I am feeling a burning sensation in my right breast sometimes.
  Need help severely.
Sincerely,
Babuli

ANSWER: Hi babuli,

What I can see is the meeting of two personalities with their unique individual problems finding an outlet in the other. You may have a low self-esteem issue, and your husband appears to have a perfectionistic streak. Perfectionism is in itself a sign of a potential low self-esteem, because it means ",I\YOU HAVE TO BE BETTER THAN I/YOU ARE"  IOWs, I/You are not good enough!!

A low self-esteem is not necessarily always of "psychological" origin, as people who have problems producing feel good neurotransmitters often suffer from a low self-image. They are bombarded withn stress hormones, due to an inner metabolic disorder that can often be treated by nutritional means. You must make sure that you are of good health. Suffering from any illness, can bring about a low self-esteem.   Please read:

Treatment of a Low Self-Esteem at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/psychotherapy/TOLSE.html

and discuss with a Nutritional Doctor, Clinical Nutritionist or a Nutritional Psychotherapist, if you want to. This can usually be treated by the adoption of a hypoglycemic diet. (see our web site).

And then study: Summary of Self-help Psychotherapy at:
http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/articles/self-help_personal_growth.html#PSYCHOTHE

in its entirety from beginning to end. It includes a program showing you how to overcome a negative self-image, and assertiveness training program, communication course and values clarification course. I feel that you would benefit from the Assertiveness Training Program, provided you health is improved.
You may require the help of a CBT counsellor to successfully complete this program, but many people can help themselves by reading the articles over and over again.
Once you become familiar with the connection between mood and diet, you will be able to help yourself. You can use our "Search our Web Site" or INDEX for more information on topics you might be interested in.
_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist.
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman


---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you very much.

One thing I want to make clear that 'him' is not my husband, it is my guide. Any way, the way you have explained it does not matter whether it is my guide or else. Thank you again.
    I can trace one thing that after the abortion I have lost the confidence, or the self-esteem what you can tell. We are having some problems with intercourse previously. Suddenly we have succeeded and got pregnant, aborted. When we were facing the inter course problem I was suffering from a low-self esteem. When we have succeeded my mental health was good, very good. After abortion I have regained my confidence. But now, after having some health problems, now my condition is like hell.
   Can you tell  why I am  suffering from breast sensation?

Answer
As to breast sensations, it is best to see a doctor first, and have that examined. I have not come across any nutritional deficiency that can cause breast sensation, but you never know. I am sorry I cannot help here. It seem to be more of a purely medical problem

_______________________________________________
Jurriaan Plesman, Nutritional Psychotherapist.
Hon. Editor of
The Hypoglycemic Health Association of Australia.
www.hypoglycemia.asn.au
Author of "Getting off the Hook"
Freely available at Google Book Search
Skype: jurplesman