Anxiety Disorders/Easily overwhelmed
My name is Leanne and I wanted to write to you to see if you have and suggestions to help me cope with feeling overwhelmed and anxious when I get frustrated.
I have always been quite sensitive with a low threshold for stress, so I find many situations difficult to deal with and I ALWAYS react by crying. I cannot help the tears, they just come, and I would like to find ways to stop that. I just started a new job a month ago, so I'm learning many new things, and I've already had tears twice, which is pretty humiliating and makes me look weak in the eyes of my boss and coworkers.
I find that I react like this most often to situations where I am frustrated and feeling helpless to improve my situation, or when I feel like I just "don't get it". For example, while training for my new job, we were given an open-book test. I could not understand how to solve a particular question, even though I had used all of my open-book resources. I felt pressured for time and couldn't ask for help, so I kept on going around in circles trying to solve the problem, and I ended up tearing up.
Do you know of anything that would help me to calm down in times of stress and frustration? My current job is fairly fast-paced and I can't always take a 5 minute break to calm down. I would appreciate anything you have to offer.
Thank you for your help,
I had that problem too as multiple choice and open book tests were I felt, always had questions that were vague and general in nature as I could tic off 3 of the 5 answers to answer the question. The same went for open book tests. Looking back on it now, I believe the problem was that I just didnít just think about the question, but I also felt it and the answers, hence the confusion and doubt.
Now, when Iím up against anything I donít understand, written or verbal, I ask questions and if there is no one around to answer them, then I write my comments where I should be writing my answer. If they donít like it, then they can ask me why I did that and then I can ask them to explain what the question means. Denying that Iím confused and in doubt is what creates the frustration.
Being in a new job, you have a learning curve, and since itís high pressured, itís even more difficult as you are trying to do the job right, and not just fudge your way through it. Itís not a sign of weakness or stupidity to ask for clarity for a vague or stupid questions, or to ask someone direct question when you feel confused and in doubt, as itís the denial of asking that sets you up to feel what you do. I have a saying, ďWhen you are confused and in doubt, give yourself the benefit of the doubt.Ē If you give others the benefit of the doubt and WAIT for them to explain what they are talking about, chances are they never will and you will have wasted all that time trying to figure it out in your head, and still donít ďget it.Ē There is lot more to this, but that should give you some ďfood for thought.Ē
If you are interested in learning how to heal your issues and empower yourself, then you may want to consider downloading my free eBooks from my website at http://shenreed.com/index.html
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and then go from there. If you have further questions, you know where you can find me