Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 1/26/2008

Question
Hello,

My boyfriend is an Iraqi living in Dubai; I am American still in the U.S., but we are to be married in a month there and I have heard that no one will marry a Christian/Muslim couple.  He insists that is not the case, but all I have read online states otherwise.  Can you tell me your take on this?  Also, I know that here in the states, we have a Justice of the Peace to perform marriage ceremonies that are basically short & sweet with just the two of you.  Is there anything like that in Dubai?  Could you also tell me how an Arab man views marriage?  He is always talking about me being his wife, he can't wait, etc., but seems to have made no preparations for our marriage.  In fact, he has been living with his uncle for several years but his uncle recently bought him a house.  I am wondering how serious one could be if he is going to move into a house knowing he is supposed to be moving to America in a few months. Am I missing something culturally before I jump to conclusions, or is this a common sense thing? Lol.  Sorry for all the questions.  I know we've had several misunderstandings due to the cultural differences and I don't want to jump to conclusions before I know a little more about his way of life.

Thank you for your time!

Michelle

Answer
Greetings Michelle, and thanks for your question.  I'm sorry if I've been delayed in responding, there seems to have been a glitch in the system.  But let me see what I can do to help:

Hmm...this is indeed a confusing situation.  I wonder, how did you meet, and how much time have you spent together in person, getting to know each other?  Have you traveled to Dubai before, or has he previously been in the U.S.?

There is no law in Islam preventing a Muslim man from marrying a Christian woman; however, that may be something different from getting a local cleric to conduct the ceremony.  Also, I have not previously heard of a Justice of the Peace-type situation.  However, a U.S. consular officer might be able to do this.  I'm just not entirely sure.  

It does concern me that he is moving into his own house if he's supposed to be moving to the States shortly.  Usually that is the 'feathering of the nest' that implies permanence in a location.

It could all be fine, but like you, I have my questions.  At the very least, I suggest that you take a family member along with you if you are not already planning to do so, to be sure this is all legit.  Again, a U.S. consular officer might make sense to consult also before you travel.  Here is some information that might be useful:

"The Consulate General Duty Officer can be reached through the U.S. Embassy in Abu Dhabi by calling 011-4-414-2200."
US Consulate in Dubai:  dubai.usconsulate.gov/  

I hope this helps!  Please let me know how things go if you can, and if there are any other questions I can help with.  I wish you the best of luck!

peace,

Le Anne