AboutLe Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.
Experience I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East
Publications "Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004.
www.christian-muslim.net
www.seminaryaction.org
www.young-activist.blogspot.com
Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.
Education/Credentials I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).
Awards and Honors I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations
Question Le Anne,
Hello my name is Tara and I have a question.
My best friend introduced me to her cousin through the phone and we have been talking over the phone for a while. We want to get married next summer. I know my father would not approve and it is custom for both families to meet at an engagement. I'm traveling to Jordan in December to be with him for a week and have an engagement party but its only me going. Do you think his family will not except me because I'm an American girl and my family doesn't like what I'm doing? And I have put some serious studying and thought into converting to Muslim, do you think that would help with them being able to except me?
please write back
Tara
Answer Greetings Tara, and thanks for your question. You do bring up an important point about family acceptance and befriending one another. Let me see if I can try to understand your situation better.
First of all, Muslim men are not required to marry Muslim women, and non-Muslim women are not required to convert to Islam if they marry a Muslim man. In fact, many non-Muslim women do marry Muslim men; some choose to convert and others choose to remain in the faith tradition they currently practice. Traditionally, the children of such couples are raised Muslim. If you choose freely to convert out of your own convictions that this is the best faith tradition for you, then by all means do so, but please do not convert to any religion just to make others happy. It usually backfires and does not do much to help family members accept you. That said, unless he's told you otherwise, his family might absolutely love you.
Do you know for sure that your father/family does not approve of your marriage? What reasons has he given for his disapproval? Do you have other family members who do approve? Could they travel with you, and/or talk to your father? And I just want to check, have you discussed this relationship with your father and other family members? If you could write back with some of the particular issues that seem to be obstacles, I might be able to offer more help.
It is great that you've been studying Islam, because it's important for each of you to know a fair amount about each other's religious and cultural backgrounds. I imagine you might be doing this already, but getting a few books and internet resources together to learn more about the culture and history of Jordan, as well as some beginning Arabic, will really improve your chances of getting along with your fiance's culture, and certainly helps with the in-laws' acceptance.
I noticed that you say you've been talking with him over the phone 'a while.' I just want to check, have you met this man in person? I know this is your best friend's cousin and that she cares for you, but it is important to spend some time with a guy in person to know that it will really be a workable marriage. Will your best friend travel with you in December? This might be an important source of support for you on a trip where you will be making some major life decisions. You really don't want to have to go alone, even if it is a completely happy occasion.
You don't mention your age, but I may have other advice that would help that I could specify better if I did know whether you're in your early twenties, thirties, or older.
In the meantime, I hope this helps! Please do not hesitate to write if I can be of further assistance. And the very best of luck to you!
