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Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 1/4/2009


Question
I am a 26 year old american girl who is talking to a 22
Syrian man. He is planning to come to finish school here in the states. We really like each other and have talked about marriage and kids. Yes we havent met, and if we do decide to marry it will not be for awhile.

I am reading up and the Arabic culture and traditions. I know its okay for him to marry non-muslim. But how would his family feel about this? Not to mention i have a child from a previous relationship. He tells me that his family would be okay with it, but I know they live by the laws. I was told Syrians are not accepting of Americans and I should not go there even if I were to marry this man.

Can you please help me?? Thank you!!!

Answer
Greetings Robin, and thanks for your question.  

These days, it's a good idea to pay attention to both general cultural advice, as well as getting to know the guy AND his family in particular.  Some families are very open-minded.  But you have to get to know and spend time with them in person before you'll really know this.  

Syrians are actually more accepting of Americans than most people believe.  First of all, many Syrians have family living in the U.S.  I traveled there not long ago and was received quite warmly.  Inter-marriage with Americans and other Westerners is not uncommon, nor is study abroad or business.  You will find expatriates around, particularly in Damascus and the larger areas.  There may be times of crisis when foreigners should leave, but this happens in a variety of countries.

So, basically, keep your eyes wide open, but don't write off the relationship before you've had a chance to really get to know this guy and his family, and visit the country.  It may not work out in the end, but it also could work out wonderfully.  Only time and careful conversation will tell!

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps--

peace,

Le Anne

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Le Anne Clausen

Expertise

I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.

Experience

I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East

Publications
"Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004. www.christian-muslim.net www.seminaryaction.org www.young-activist.blogspot.com Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.

Education/Credentials
I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).

Awards and Honors
I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations

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