Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 1/13/2009

Question
Hey. I'm 18 years old and I'm Muslim. I've never learnt much about my religion, but lately i decided to educate myself. i was reading the Quran and Sura 4.34 says that men are responsible for all women, that Allah said that men are allowed to beat them if they disobey. Is this true? i also found a Muslim website saying that the prophet married a girl called Aisha when she was 6 years old and consummated the marriage when she was only 9. Is this true? Please help me I'm so confused! I don't mean any disrespect, i just really need help because i don't understand.

Answer
Greetings Lina, and thanks for your question.  The Qur'an, much like the Bible and the scriptures of the other major world religions, contains some passages that we often find disturbing today.  It is good in times like these to keep in mind that they were written in a particular place and time, and that by the standards of that time, they were considered actually quite progressive.  It's also important to remember that more progressive scholars and interpreters and clerics and potential spouses would take the above position when reading sacred writings, while more extremist or conservative scholars would take a more literal approach.

So, for example, Sura 4.34 would say that men have a responsibility to look after women; but this is in a society where women on their own were in considerable danger--economically and otherwise.  The practice of multiple wives developed in Islam as a solution for caring for so many extra war widows of the early martyrs.  And beating disobedient women, children, or servants was also commonplace; nobody really questioned it.  

By comparison, the Bible also advocates women 'submitting' to their husbands, and that a husband/father may beat his disobedient wife, child, or servant--including killing the child if they are particularly insolent.  This was held up as authoritative for family discipline in some circles up through my early childhood in the 80's, but has since really been challenged by a host of child and women's advocacy groups.  There are still some extremist sects that advocate beatings, however; and there are places around the world where beatings are unfortunately still quite common.

And it's likely that Aisha was indeed married or betrothed to Muhammed when she was six and the marriage consummated at nine--much like young women were at that time in the Middle East, Europe, and in prior centuries.  The virgin Mary in the Bible is now commonly understood to have been at most around 13 years old when she became pregnant with Jesus; marrying girls at or before they could begin puberty was one way of ensuring 'purity.'  This has even carried into today with some cultural groups of different religious backgrounds around the world.  However, minimum marriage age laws have been spreading around the world as well.

So, it's certainly not disrespectful to question the meaning of certain scriptural passages, really no matter what your religious background.  Rather, think of it as being in dialogue with your tradition, in order to learn from it and grow, and reform it when necessary.  It is the best way to honor your traditions.

There are some great progressive Muslim scholars out there--including women, and it's good to read what they say and see why they still belong to their tradition even when they disagree with it.  Google 'Muslim feminist scholars' and see what you find!  Some are published, others are on blogs and so forth.

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps!

peace,

Le Anne