Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 4/7/2009

Question
I have been married to a Lebanese man for over 6 yrs. He has gone over to Lebanon 4 times, with out me since we have been married.  Each time he has trouble contacting me via phone and e-mail.  Is this true?  Is it that difficult to get communication out of Lebanon?  I have a lot less trouble than he is having. I have little trouble getting a connection with Lebanon.  Thank You.

Answer
Greetings Tasha, and thanks for your question.  It is possible that phone and internet access could be difficult in Lebanon, depending on how rural or urban a setting a person is living in, or how many internet cafes are nearby.  Still, many middle-class families do have home internet with email, and many with family in other countries get global-communications enabled cellphones.  Cell phones, especially the pay-as-you-go kind, are quite easy to get, and should be factored into your husband's cost of travel.

The situation does seem odd, however, and I would advise caution.  This is definitely a relationship communication issue that needs to be worked out, and perhaps with the help of a trained professional.  It is not unreasonable for the two of you to communicate by phone or email at least twice a week while he's gone.  Every night may be a bit much, given that a person can get wrapped up in visits with family or friends.

My question is, how often do you go to Lebanon with him?  There are no travel restrictions for citizens of most English-speaking countries, and a visa is not difficult to get.  Keeping up regular connections with your in-laws or whoever he's going to see over there will do much to ease your mind about what may be going on while he's away.  And if something is amiss, it will become apparent rather quickly.  If visits are not possible for you, then phone calls and email exchanges with relatives are also good.  Lebanese are very well educated and someone in the family will have English.

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps!

peace,

Le Anne