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Arab Culture/physical reprimand of children in arab culture

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Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 4/4/2009


Question
I have a 26 year old nephew. We are Palestinan American. He has spent time in Jordan. I have not. He says that if my 17 year old daughter(his cousin) is rude to him he has the right to reprimand her physically, both according to Islamic law and according to Jordanian law and Jordanian culture. Is this true? Also, if a Muslim man and woman are married by a US judge and not by an Ima, according to Islam is their marriage valid?

Answer
Greetings Amira, and thanks for your question.  I would say that it is most appropriate to keep your nephew as far away from your daughter as possible.  He does not have the right to physically reprimand your child, certainly not without her parents' permission, and even then only under the most extreme interpretation of the law.  It seems very strange that he's gotten ideas in his head like this, and I would keep an eye on him.  Don't turn him out of your life completely, and certainly convey your concerns to his parents if you think they could be of a more positive influence on him.  But it sounds like he's headed down a dangerous path.

In the United States, if a Muslim man and woman are married, and both parties and their families (namely, parents) have agreed to the marriage and feel it is just; then it is valid.  Sometimes Muslims have no other choice since imams are not available in every region or every state.  However, I can see a quite conservative family or cleric having a problem with this.  In that case, if the people who are immediately involved in the wedding do not have a problem, then the problem really is with the conservative people criticizing you, and the problem is not yours.  

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps!

peace,

Le Anne

Arab Culture

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Le Anne Clausen

Expertise

I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.

Experience

I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East

Publications
"Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004. www.christian-muslim.net www.seminaryaction.org www.young-activist.blogspot.com Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.

Education/Credentials
I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).

Awards and Honors
I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations

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