Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 9/27/2009

Question
Greetings Le Anne,
I am about to meet my girlfriend's parents soon. I was wondering if I could get some advice. What should I expect and what will they expect from me??
I am a soldier in the Army. I am not Arab. I come from a Hispanic background. Her family is catholic from Jordan. I'm just a but nervous because iit different cultures.  
Anything will help.


Answer
Greetings Billy, and thanks for your question.  Actually, if your own family leans toward more traditional Hispanic culture, meeting your girlfriend's parents may be easier than you think!  There are many parallels between Hispanic culture, particularly Catholic Hispanic culture, and Arab Catholic culture.  Generally men and women are a little reserved yet polite towards each other, whereas women are quite open with other women and men with men.  Showing hospitality, such as bringing a tray of hot or cold drinks into the room and snacks when a guest first arrives, is also common.  Making sure a guest is well fed and provided for is very important.  Ask your girlfriend first before offering any wine or other alcohol, as Christian families vary in their preferences.  Serving fresh fruit with sweets and coffee/tea after dinner is also customary; provide little plates and knives if you can.  If you are in their house, ask if you should remove your shoes when entering the house.  Some families do, others don't.

Dress well, in at least a button-down shirt (not necessarily a tie), and nice slacks and shoes.  Ask about interests and life in Jordan and favorite holiday traditions and meals.  Most families are very happy to talk about these.  Be ready to share stories about your own family and its background and traditions, as these are highly valued topics.  If you are going to their house or out to eat with them, it's nice to bring a little housewarming gift, or flowers, if you can.  If in doubt, always feel free to check with your girlfriend, who will know the traditions well.  And it never hurts to address the parents formally (sir/ma'am), unless they offer you another name to call them by.

Good luck to you, and I hope this helps!

peace,

Le Anne