Expert: Jamshaid Zubairee - 1/20/2010

Question
can we love musilm boys/girls??
please answer me through quraan verses?

Answer
Yes we can with many restrictions. Islam on principal basis does not like the mingling of man and woman. There are many Quranic verses and ahadith regarding it.
Allah says in the following Ayat that,

[Quran Surah Al-Anfaal 8:63] And (moreover) He hath put affection between their hearts: not if thou hadst spent all that is in the earth, couldst thou have produced that affection, but Allah (God) hath done it: for He is Exalted in might, Wise.

This is not ordinary love that we see in every second girl and boy which mostly leads to haram doings. but the love which Allah has inculcated in the hearts of the believers that made them to do every sacrifice for their brothers.

The love which you are asking about is the feeling between two non mehrams that made them to do wrong , fall in to intimation and do haram deeds.Thats why Allah has ordered both Muslim men and women to lower there gaze and guard their modesty. Can you tell me what makes today's generation to love a non mehram??

The same that they don't lower there gaze and thus shaitan takes advantage of it and attaches there heart with the others' . Islam thats why introduces family system in which husband and wife are asked to love each other. otherwise why there are so strict orders for hijab? just to protect Muslim men and women from the harm of what they will do if they will not observe Islam.

Allah don't forbids us to love even it’s the part of our faith that a Muslim love other just for the sake of Allah as Allah has ordered us to do so.



Bukhari Volumn 001, Book 002, Hadith Number 020.
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Narated By Anas : The Prophet said, "Whoever possesses the following three qualities will taste the sweetness of faith:

1. The one to whom Allah and His Apostle become dearer than anything else.
2. Who loves a person and he loves him only for Allah's sake.
3. Who hates to revert to disbelief (Atheism) after Allah has brought (saved) him out from it, as he hates to be thrown in fire."

Allah has created an attraction of female for male but has Allah ordered them to remain segregated from each other. In today’s world both men and women are not taking care of the modesty which Allah has ordered us should be in our eyes.

Islam-the religion of modesty has made it compulsory for both the sexes to remain segregated and not to follow in any such relationship which is called “love”.Islam does not allow man and woman to come closer and to involve themselves in any sort of intimate relationship and it is considered haram in Islam.  Allah has asked us remain away from from such things because or open enemy “Satan” always takes the advantage of it, whose promise is to make the people stray from the path of righteousness
By indulging man and woman in such relationships which are totally Haram in Islam.


[Quran 7:201] Verily, those who have Taqwa, when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytan, they remember (Allah), and (indeed) they then see (aright).

[Quran 7:202] But (as for) their brothers (the devils' brothers) they (the devils) plunge them deeper into error, and they never stop short.

[Quran 2:208] O you who believe! Enter into Islam whole-heartedly; and follow not the footsteps of the evil one; for he is to you an avowed enemy.

[Quran 5:91] Satan's plan is (but) to excite enmity and hatred between you, with intoxicants and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah (God), and from prayer: will you not then abstain?

[Quran 7:27] O you Children of Adam! let not Satan seduce you, in the same manner as he got your parents out of the Garden, stripping them of their clothes, to expose their shame: for he and his tribe watch you from a position where you cannot see them: We made the Evil Ones friends (only) to those without Faith.

[Quran 17:53] And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islamic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaitan (Satan) verily, sows disagreements among them. Surely, Shaitan (Satan) is to man an open enemy.

But there is a leniency when it comes to marriage. A good intention is the fundamental condition.
There are some instructions, perceived by jurists of Islam based mainly on this following hadith which seemed easing traditional restriction as ordered by Islam about mingling two sexes:
Narrated Jabir ibn Abdullah: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: When one of you asked a woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so. He (Jabir) said: I asked a girl in marriage, I used to look at her secretly, until I looked at what induced me to marry her. I, therefore, married her.  
( Sunan Abu Daud-Book 11, Hadith 2077)

This hadith contrary to the general orders of Islam against mingling of both sexes, provides some space mainly because the good intention of marriage. So the Jurists of Islam perceived that Islam gives us the space of love if muslin follows these conditions.
1)      The intention must be a marriage not flirt or sex.
2)      Marriage proposal must be sent immediately.
3)      No private meeting between boy and girl except with the permission and in the presence of family members.

If some one follows these conditions, he or she can love. Other wise the love is NOT allowed. (Allah(swt) knows better)

Hope this answers your question!
If you still have a problem then feel free to contact me again.