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Arab Culture/Dating a Lebanese Man

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Expert: - 12/2/2010


Question
I, an American female, recently met and am dating seriously a Lebanese man, he is Christian.  We are both in our mid-late 30s.  The emotion and bond between us is strong... he says he loves me (and I him).  

He is on an L1 visa, due to expire March 2010 and he has not been notified that his company will renew.  He will be traveling home for about two weeks starting 12/15/2010.  I want some type of direction on where we are headed but I'm having trouble getting clarity.  If he stays in the US, which is his desire, we will stay together.  He is not able to tell me what would happen if he doesn't return.

Does this have anything to due with the cultural differences or is it just him?  Is it really that hard to make a match between the two worlds?  

I'm confused and any help would be appreciated.

Answer
Dear Marie, I was born and raised in Beirut and came to the US in 1975. My mother was American and my father Lebanese, although I was raised in Lebanon (Christian). I married my wife almost 30 years ago and have been happily married all these years. My point is that American and Lebanese (Christian) cultures are not all that different. The reason I suspect he cannot give you a definite answer about what happens if he doesn't return is that he doesn't know. Are you willing to move and live in Lebanon? Is he looking for a "permanent" way to stay in the US (i.e. marry an American and become a US citizen)? You should ask him directly if he is interested in you to stay in the States? Watch his reaction and trust your instincts.

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David Rababy

Expertise

Questions regarding political, military and cultural issues in the Middle East

Experience

•27+ years of experience in intelligence analysis •Coordinated the management, analysis, processing, and dissemination of strategic, operational and tactical intelligence •Conducted research & analysis of counterterrorism, and foreign military forces, operations, capabilities and trends in support of threat production •Analyzed information to assess developments, trends, and threat implications within geographical and functional areas •Compiled, collated, analyzed, produced and evaluated all-source intelligence •Subject Matter Expert on Middle East affairs (native of Lebanon)

Organizations
Disabled American Veterans (DAV) National Veteran-Owned Business Association Veterans of Foreign Wars (VFW) The American Legion The Marine Corps League The Association of Service Disabled Veterans (ASDV) Fredericksburg Small Business Association (FSBA)

Publications
Rababy, D.A., Marine Corps Intelligence, Officer Training of the Future, U.S. Army Military Intelligence magazine, May 1995 Rababy, D.A., Intelligence Support During a Humanitarian Mission, Marine Corps Gazette, February 1995 Rababy, D.A., Intelligence Support in Operations Other Than War, Small Wars Journal, October, 2005 Rababy, D.A., Cultural Intelligence Training for Military Operations, Ongoing

Education/Credentials
American Military University, Master of Arts, Political Science University of Michigan-Flint, Bachelor of Arts, History Armed Forces Staff College (JPME II) Intelligence Collection Managers Course USMC Command & Staff College Anti-terrorism Instructor Course Instructor and Curriculum Developers Course

Awards and Honors
Bronze Star Medal Joint Meritorious Service Medal Meritorious Service Medal (Third Award) Navy and Marine Corps Commendation Medal (Third Award) Combat Action Ribbon (Second Award) Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal Southwest Asia Service Medal Kuwait Liberation Medal (Kuwait and Saudi Arabia) Navy and Marine Corps Intelligence Instructor of the Year (1996)

Past/Present Clients
Jane's Information Group Klein Associates (ARA) Robotic Research

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