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Question
I got a problem...I have an Iraqi boyfriend(he doesn't live there) and we have been together for 2 years and a half.I have to mention that we have a great relation and we love each other a lot.When we started our relation I couldn't tell him all the truth about me because I thought he would leave and he wouldn't believe that I'm saying the truth...I was born in Israel for some reason but I'm not Jewish.I really want to tell him the truth because I don't want him to find out in another way that would destroy our relation.
My questions are:should I tell him that I was born there?would he have something against this?how do I get to tell him in a nice way so he believes me and be ok with it.
I'm really afraid of his reaction.Please help.
Thanks
Greetings Ana, and thanks for your question. Basically, you should tell him the truth, but you want to prepare him first. You might start by saying something like, "I love you and I'm glad we're together, and I have something to tell you about myself that you should know. However, it doesn't define who I am and does not change the way I feel about you." Then you should tell him, but emphasize that it is not who you are or how you identify, and that it does not change the way you feel about him. After all, you can't choose the place you were born, even if world politics are very heated between Israel and other Middle Eastern countries. This kind of situation could happen to anyone who was born in a country that another country is in conflict with--such as the Balkans, Northern Ireland, India and Pakistan, or Turkey and Greece. So, this really shouldn't be a problem, and if you handle it delicately as above, it's likely that things will turn out just fine.
Good luck to you, and I hope this helps!
peace,
Le Anne
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Answers by Expert:
Le Anne Clausen
Expertise
I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.
Experience
I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East
Publications
"Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004.
www.christian-muslim.net
www.seminaryaction.org
www.young-activist.blogspot.com
Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.
Education/Credentials
I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).
Awards and Honors
I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations
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