Arab Culture/divorce

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Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 7/28/2007


Question
I am an American woman divorcing an Arabic man after 5 years of marriage.  We have 3 kids. The divorce has been dragging on due to false accusations from my (ex) husband.  I wanted to know if there was a cultural piece tied to this.  He was never a father while we were together and now that I left he is doing everything he can to destroy me by making up lies about me.  His entire family is backing this and writing letters supporting this as well.  Any advice?

Answer
Greetings Susan, and thanks for your question.  I am sorry to hear of your troubles, they do sound like a considerable burden.  The cultural piece that I know of that ties in here is that traditionally the children go with the father's family  once they are weaned if there is a divorce, etc.  I wonder, are you in the U.S. or in an Arab country?  I imagine you have already found witnesses who can attest to your conduct as a wife and mother; and I hope that your family is able to provide support for you through this time as well as speaking up for you.  How are these accusations being spread?  If they are reaching your colleagues at work or the judge, you may have some recourse in making it clear you're in a messy divorce, or hope that the judge has seen this too many times before.

It's true the U.S. court system is more helpful in dealing with these cases than one would find in an Arab country.  There are also more options for sharing custody here (although this too is changing in several Middle Eastern countries).  The most important thing throughout this is to keep communication open with your children, and not speak badly of their father--kids will already pick up on when a parent is being poorly behaved.  As inter-cultural children, they may need extra support in not letting a messy divorce disrupt their sense of cultural identity.

This is all I can think of at the moment, and I do hope the best of luck for you.  Please let me know if there are any other questions I may help with.  In the meantime, peace,

Le Anne Clausen

Arab Culture

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Le Anne Clausen

Expertise

I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.

Experience

I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East

Publications
"Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004. www.christian-muslim.net www.seminaryaction.org www.young-activist.blogspot.com Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.

Education/Credentials
I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).

Awards and Honors
I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations

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