Expert: Le Anne Clausen - 7/19/2007

Question
QUESTION: will it be ok for a arab ruling sheikh to married a woman from latin and south america ,indian ,japanese

ANSWER: Greetings Fanta, and thanks for your question.  If I understand correctly, you are asking if an observant Muslim man with status in his community (a sheikh) is able to marry a non-Muslim woman, perhaps Catholic or Protestant Christian, Hindu, Buddhist, etc., and of a different nationality.

Generally speaking, it is permissible for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman, though the Qur'an states a preference for followers of closely-related monotheistic traditions such as Judaism and Christianity.  In general, it is also preferable for the woman to convert to Islam.  The children should follow the father's religion, and also generally, it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man.  In my experience, these are practices still held to in most observant Muslim families today.

However, I think it's also important to note that these practices are generally true of most other families who observe another religion, in most parts of the world today.    Generally, it is less acceptable for the woman to marry outside the faith than it is for the man, and generally the woman will feel more pressure to convert than for the man. In some cases the children are more likely to learn the religion of the mother.  These practices can even be seen among white U.S. families that practice a religion closely.  Even in my hometown, a mid-sized city in an agricultural area, it was only recently that two Christians of different sects could marry without the wedding being viewed as a disappointment by the families!  I certainly remember these conversations growing up.

Of course, there are other difficulties in marrying across cultures, languages, and religions.  Perhaps most difficult is the language, where one partner is never quite accepted by the family, friends, or community that speak a different language the partner can't speak.  It's very important to discuss these circumstances well in advance so that both partners in the marriage can live in happiness.

One last thought--a benefit of the Muslim wedding proposal is that women have the right to stipulate the terms of the marriage (such as finances, housing, children, etc) in a 'wedding contract' prior to the marriage.  These are legally binding documents, and a worthwhile option.  It would actually be a helpful practice beyond the finance-only 'prenupital' agreements practiced in the West today.

Hope this helps!  Please let me know if you have further quetions.  Good luck, and peace,

Le Anne

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: you never answers my question,i did not ask you about religion.my question is will it be ok for a arab ruler to married a non arab wife example(black,indian,asians,hispanic,white)will the family accept her.no religion this time

Answer
Greetings Fanta, and thanks for your clarification.  Is there a particular case that you are asking about that may help me understand your question, or perhaps, are you facing such a situation yourself?  These details would be helpful to me in answering you better.

There are several Arab rulers that have married non-Arab wives throughout history, and you will find depictions of 'queens' or wives of differing ethnicities in artwork of the time.  In a more contemporary case, Jordanians had difficulty accepting Western-raised Queen Noor when she first married King Hussein,  http://www.biography.com/search/article.do?id=9542217&page=1
although this did change when she converted to Islam.  (To be honest, religion is such a key part of this issue that you can't answer the question without it).

Otherwise, in my travels I found many Arab men married to non-Arab wives, and Arab men that were seeking foreign wives.  The women were predominantly of North-Western (white, US or European)origin. It is more rare to find wives of Asian or African descent.  Racial stereotyping, as in many cultures, does play a role here, as well as Western privilege and the access to visas, etc. that can be important when living in troubled countries.  

However, no matter what the race or language or nationality of the foreign wife, it will often be difficult to find acceptance within the family if she does not speak the same language as they do and follow the same religion as they do. These are important considerations before entering any such arrangement, which will impact the rest of a woman's life.  The best thing a woman can do in such a situation is to discuss these issues with her partner, take language and culture classes before committing to the relationship, and then seek out other foreign wives to form a circle of support and friendship.  (The same is true for men marrying into a foreign culture).

Here is a link to additional articles that may be of interest to you:

http://www.google.com/search?q=non-arab+wives&sourceid=navclient-ff&ie=UTF-8&rlz

I hope this is helpful; this is the extent of my knowledge on your question.  Good luck!

peace,

Le Anne