About Le Anne Clausen Expertise I can answer questions on Arab culture, including differences in cultures among Arab countries and sub-groups. I can also answer questions on Christian-Muslim relations, interfaith issues in general, and human rights and peacemaking issues in the Middle East.
Experience I was a human rights worker for four years in the Middle East, and have spent time in Palestine, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, Lebanon, and Jordan. I speak intermediate Arabic; some Hebrew; and am starting Persian (Farsi, Dari). I have led a half-dozen educational delegations to the area for North American groups; and I have led trainings for nearly a thousand international human rights volunteers coming into the area over my years there. I am now working to launch an interfaith peace-teams based human rights organization, hopefully in the next two years. I am also currently editing the manuscript for my first book, a firsthand account of my time in the Middle East
Publications "Be the Healers," (next steps after Abu Ghraib) The Lutheran magazine, July 2004.
www.christian-muslim.net
www.seminaryaction.org
www.young-activist.blogspot.com
Multiple press releases which I wrote from the field, as well as media interviews/articles about my work are also available via Google search.
Education/Credentials I have an MA in Christian-Muslim relations; and I am now continuing my studies at Chicago Theological Seminary (www.ctschicago.edu). I also have a BA in Religion concentrating in global service, from Wartburg College, (www.wartburg.edu).
Awards and Honors I received the Dell Award for Peace and Justice from Wartburg College. I have spoken and led workshops and trainings at over one hundred church congregations, colleges, schools, organizations
I am not addicted or anything, but I love to masturbate and love to look at Playboy magazines....
Many people say its normal and everything for teenage boys...but I dont know...
I tell myself to stop looking, even though I love it, but it never lasts long, and I end up buying the next issue and satisfy my need...Is it ok? By refraining, am i figting nature? Is it just my genes...my gender...my religion?
I am very confused as to how I should proceed? Some people say its wrong, and i try to stop, but i just cant....
I cannot discus this with my family, cuz we are muslims and we dont talk about this sort of stuff...You are my only help...
Thankyou,
Ali,
Troubled Youth
ANSWER: Greetings Ali, and thanks for your question. You do raise difficult and sensitive questions, and I will try to give you my best answers--since you have left your question open to the public, it may be that others will be seeking answers to the same questions.
It is true that teenagers experience rapid changes in their body chemistry, which can bring about strong sexual feelings. It can be difficult to handle these feelings in a way that does not cause problems for yourself or your relationships with other people. Masturbation can be an acceptable way of dealing with these urges, as long as it is done discreetly and not so frequently that it creates a barrier to your ability to relate well with others.
Pornography is far more problematic, and I would recommend that you try hard to give it up. The main problem is that the images of the women are not real--they are changed with computer technology in such a way that a real woman will never look like this, and you may find yourself disappointed in marriage later. Also, the women who are 'frozen' on the page of a pornographic magazine can't talk to you, or tell you what is good for them or offensive to them, and you can develop expectation fantasies of how a woman will react to your sexual approaches that are not realistic--and this can cause you great difficulties in the future.
As much as possible, try to work on building respectful relationships with women you do know--not sexual relationships, because they are likely to cause pain at this young age; but learn to talk with women and listen to them. Learn how to build trust and respect. This will help you to find a good life partner in a few years, and to treat her in a way that does not harm her and is enjoyable for you both. And when you are able to do this within a lifetime commitment, that is the best sexuality of all.
Good luck to you, and I hope this helps. Please let me know if I can help you with any other questions.
peace,
Le Anne
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thankyou for replying
I am releived with this answer, becuase i now know it is not a sin...
But i have read about this issue all over the internet, and there are many 'scholars' who say its haram and deviant behaiviour...
One common thing about them is that they always qoute the same piece of Qu'ran, no matter which site you go on, any scholar that says it is haram always shows this from thw Qu'ran: "...And those who guard their privates parts [from illegal intercourse] except from their wives and those whom their right hand possesses, on them their is no blame, but those who crave something beyond that, they are trangressors...." [Surat An-Nisa]
The scholars always point this out, and then say that masturbation falls under the umbrella of "craving beyond" what is normal.
Also, they always mention this hadith from the prophet (pbuh)..."And those who have not the wherewithal to marry, should keep themselves chaste by fasting...."
We all agree that there is no Qu'ranic text or ahadith that gives light directly on this issue...but many Scholars argue that becuase the Prophet didnt say masturbation was a legitimate way of keeping one "chaste", then it must be haram....i cannot understand this...I would think that it is specifically becuase he didnt say anything about masturbation that it must be okay...
It comes back to mentality...I argue that someone is innocent till proven guilty...whereas these scholars argue that someone is guilty till proven innocent....
Anything in Islam is halal unless said otherwise by Allah...not the otherway round, surely?
Please comment....
PS. Is looking at pictures okay aswell? If not completely naked, then what about only topless pictures? Or women in bikini's or lingerie? Can I look at those?"
Answer Greetings Ali, and thanks again for your question. As a woman, I would place far greater emphasis in interpreting the Qur'anic verse you quote as being against the exploitation of women. If you are not legally committed to a relationship with her that protects her well-being, than you have no right to act toward her in a sexual manner. I would place less emphasis on it as a prohibition against masturbation, except as a caution of letting your fantasies impede your ability to conduct yourself ethically in your relationships with others.
The verse about those who are not prepared to marry I would interpret also as about not acting dishonorably towards a woman. If you were to get her pregnant and did not have the means to marry her, you also could not provide for the baby and all the relational problems that would come with this. This is the far greater concern, I would say, that is covered in this verse.
For pictures though, I would ask you to search your conscience as to why you are looking at them. Topless pictures also are pornography; even many sports magazines carry pictures of women that other women would be embarrassed by. Women you may wish to marry in the future would be hurt to know that you look at these pictures, because they know they do not accurately represent women's bodies or women's souls. They may feel betrayed and not trust you enough to let a real relationship develop. A good way to judge this is, what would your mother or sister or future girlfriend say about a picture of a woman you are looking at? If you think they would feel hurt, it is better to get rid of it and direct your energies to learning how to build relationships with women that are healthy and caring and respectful.
As a last note, I do notice that the language you are using to describe the Qur'anic verses, etc., is not what I would expect from a 16 year old. I do hope that you would not have misrepresented your age in order to ask a question. I answer all questions in good faith and trust questioners to be honest with me also.
Good luck to you, and I hope this will be helpful.
