Arbitration/Mediation/Could a mediator help with this?
I have a very complicated situation. I am a 35 year old woman, living with my widowed mother, as I have more health problems than any adult has a right to, so naturally, I have no money. I am trying to run a business on my own, however, I only get paid by those willing to pay for my services. Lately, Mom and I have not been able to go a day without spending hours fighting. I recently had a life altering surgery, which the side effects have taken over my life. Mom is really mad about the expenses attached, and it's only going to get worse. To complicate matters more, I've done something I'm ashamed of, and will not forgive myself for: I had a medication for rheumatoid arthritis, which insurance tried to deny me coverage for a period of time. I was told by the pharmacist that if I paid out of pocket, and then wrote a letter to my insurance, I would get both reimbursement, and coverage. Although they covered it after that, no reimbursement. The way I got the money is really bad. Mom put me as a signer on my parents' safe deposit box, after Dad passed away, but told me I could only have access to it if she is no longer alive, or if she is present. I dared to take some money to cover medication, and now I cannot get it back. I know Mom will never forgive me for this, if she finds out. I've done favors for people I should not have stooped to, in order to get the money, which is not getting me anywhere, and now I don't want to do it anymore. Getting to the mediation point: I have a friend (we'll call her Juliette), who is 61, whom I feel a particular closeness to, but she knows nothing about this. I am really worried Mom and I are going to reach our breaking point sooner than later, and I could get forced to leave. I am almost tempted to ask Juliette if I could stay with her and her husband, but don't know 1. how to go about it, and 2. I don't think I can do it on my own. I do think Juliette has found me clingy, which is slowly putting us on the rocks, but I need her in my life, like plants need water. With all that I have told you, if the breaking point is reached (and I'm not sure how much longer I can keep my sanity, if I stay at my mother's house), do you think somebody would mediate with Juliette, so I could stay with her? I so want to tell somebody that I have done many dangerous favors, in order to get the money. One of the men I have done this for no longer will pay me anyway, as he finds the bag I now contend with repulsive, and I shouldn't have to stoop to that level, but I feel my self worth means nothing, when compared to what I have done. Mom has done things to annoy me to, such as be oblivious to physical, sexual, and emotional abuse put upon me by my dad's idiot sister, but that does not excuse my choices. I feel like there is no way out, except asking Juliette if I can stay with her. Aside from that, I will have to ask my stepdad if he would lease a car for me, as I have to run my business to pay Mom, but Juliette is the utmost important perspective. Any thoughts would help; I feel trapped, and cannot get out.
Please allow me to begin by saying that your situation only appears to be much more dire than it really is. We've all hit "bumps in the road" similar to the issues you currently face.
I'd like to know a bit more. Please tell me what your business is and how long you've been involved with your company as I think that will add a great deal to how I may be able to assist you.