Expert: Timmy Chou - 2/11/2005

Question
Hi Timmty, my husband and I have been married for four years and we are considering purchasing a house together, our marriage is rocky so I hesitant of course. If we go thru this my question to you is that can we at this point get anythign like a pre-nup? Something on paper that defines who's is who's, and signed. If so how do we go about doing this? Any information you can provide that would be wonderful, thanks!

Melinda

Answer
Thank you for your question!

Mediators act as neutral third parties to disputes and never "get involved" in judging the merits of conflict, but merely use special techniques to help the parties decide how to negotiate their own settlement.

I am not a lawyer, so I cannot speak to the law in your state, but I can respond to your question from my business consulting experience.  Note that this dispute will definately have legal consequences and you should consult an attorney.

Generally speaking, you may create a contract between you and your spouse concerning the house.  Usually it would be called a Seperate Property Agreement, which stipulates the treatment of certain property between the married partners.  You will need to have a lawyer do this for you so you don't create a conflict between the agreement and your state's joint marital property laws.  

If you need a lawyer, most state's Bar Association provides a no-cost consultation with an attorney so you can get an idea of what you are up against in your state.

These are some ideas.  Feel free to follow up with additional questions.

For your information, the pros and cons of the types of dispute resolution methods follows.

GOOD LUCK!

Arbitration, Mediation, and Litigation

Arbitration: the referral of a dispute to one or more impartial persons for final and binding determination outside of the judicial system

Benefits of Arbitration:

    Confidential, no public record
    Limited exchange of documentation, information
    Quick, don't have to wait for a court date
    Arbitrators have expertise in the subject matter and are trained in conflict resolution
    Cheaper than litigation
    Preserves business relationships

Negatives of Arbitration

    It's a compromise, no %100 winner
    Complex arbitration can be costly
    If not satisfied, may litigate the arbitration procedure
    Poor results with an unskilled arbitrator
    Both parties must agree to cooperate in the process

Mediation: the process by which parties submit their dispute to a neutral third party (the mediator) who works with the parties to reach a settlement of their dispute.

Benefits of Mediation:

    Neutral mediator can objectively suggest alternatives not considered before
    Parties are directly engaged in negotiating the settlement
    Can be quicker than litigation
    Less costly than litigation
    Preserves business relationships
    85% of American Arbitration Association cases mediated find successful solutions

Negatives of Mediation

    may not reach a binding decision
    unskilled mediator

Litigation: using the judicial system to resolve disputes

Benefits of litigation:

    a clear winner and loser
    uses a prescribed set of procedures
    more predictable outcomes
    is final

Negatives of Litigation:

    waiting for court dates can do more hare
    usually more expensive than mediation and arbitration
    part of the public record