Expert: Elder Greg Madden - 2/19/2008

Question
QUESTION: As a saved AG member of 10 years, I have to wonder...
Are we suppose to be 100% free from sin at this point?
My husband confessed to our pastor a use of porn and was kicked off all ministries and positions. SO WAS I!
Even as I was hurting tremendously!!!!
Then he went through "restoration" for 1 years and was never fully restored. Then when I questioned it all, my pastor agreed we keep getting pushed back and suggested I leave the church and maybe find another denomination.
The the board wrote me a letter and we met. They had a file with things I has said to people that they NEVER validated with me. Due to this, a rule was made that my pastor or any leader cannot meet with me alone. I have seen numerous families leave and know others who are on the brink. Questions: 1) Is this really how AG suggests we deal with porn? 2)Aren't nearly 50% of pastors entrapped by it, but they can get help and keep their positions? 3) Are elders to keep folders on people of GOSSIP and never verify the truth? 4) My pastor offered the advice to leave as my friend, not my pastor. Was this God speaking? Or my cruel pastor?

ANSWER: Kris,

First, let me say how sorry I am that you were treated in such a manner. It grieves my heart to hear of folks who have been through situations such as you and your husband. The most important thing is that he has found victory over this bondage, and that your marriage is restored. Is this the case?

Second, I want you to understand that I am not apart of the Assemblies of God. I have had years of fellowship with AG pastors and members, and therefore volunteered to be an expert in this category. So my views of the AG are from this perspective. I just wanted to make that clear.

I will do my best to answer you four questions, but before I do let me share with you what I have discovered in such cases. The AG has a disciplinary course of action that they take when dealing with such cases. Though I have no problem with discipline, or with the AG carrying out such discipline, I have noticed that they will use physiology and the ways of the world to deal with these problems. I totally disagree with this! Instead of relying upon God prescribed means of victory and restoration (which is faith in the finished work of Christ on the Cross) they will use a man-made formula.

Now to your questions...

1) Yes, this is how the AG handles this problem.

2) I do not know if your statistics are correct on this, but pastors are people just like everyone else. They too deals with temptations and sins. You make a good point when you said that they keep their positions. Though I will say that the AG will deal with this type of problem once they know about it.

3) NO & NO! Folders? This is ungodly to say the least!  

4) This I cannot answer. This is something you and your husband will have to decide yourself. Though I will say that God is not confined to, and does not exclusively work through the AG. He is God, and He will operate where ever there are people who look to Him in faith.

Kris, please know that I will be standing in agreement with you and your husband. Please let me know if this helps, or if you have any further questions.

Elder Greg Madden
http://www.forministry.com/USOKPENTEMMM1

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Isn't physiology trying to figure out the nature of something? Is that what you meant to say?

We went to a Christian counselor who we discovered gave up on going to church because he was so hurt. He explained to us the act of using porn is not the root of the problem.

Our head pastor took my husband through a book, which he would not read himself fully, due to words that his eyes could not see. But let my husband read them.

I feel that when my pastor told me to leave... God deserted me, too. I am so hurt inside, I can't even describe it. I am daily in despair and grief about it. I think I have a form of depression in my soul. Obviously, I am a bad person to have my pastor of 10 years ask me to leave. What's worse is that he didn't consider my three 18-20 young adult kids who are at a vulnerable stage. They too, are without a church.

Answer
Kris,

I am sorry. I meant to say "psychology", not physiology.

Once again my sister, do not allow anyone to stand between you and your relationship with Jesus Christ. Place your faith completely and totally upon Him and His finished work on the Cross. If you cannot go to this church, then by all means find another one that you and your family and go to.

You are not a bad person. That a lie from the pit of hell! Don't listen to that lie. God sent His only Son Jesus to suffer and die for you, your husband, and your family, and He most certainly would not have done so if He thought that about you. Kris, God has started greatness in you and your family, and He will not give up on you. So don't give up on Him! People will fail you. People that we have placed our trust in will at times disappoint us. But God Almighty will never change, He will never leave us, and He will never fail us!

Philippians  1:6
Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:

If there is anyway that I can help you find a church in your area, I would be more than happy to help.

Elder Greg Madden
http://www.forministry.com/USOKPENTEMMM1