Expert: Brian Thompson - 7/29/2010

Question
HELLO AND GOD BLESS. THIS IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE STRANGEST QUESTIONS YOU HAVE HEARD? THIS IS A BIT LONG TOO - SORRY. :)

BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW ELSE TO SAY IT...I HAVE FELT A CALLING TO MINISTRY AND I LIKE TO HELP OTHERS AND OFTEN AM A VERY HOSPITABLE PERSON. I AM ALSO FORTUNATE ENOUGH TO HAVE BEEN FILLED WITH THE JOY OF THE LORD. MY BROTHERS AND I CAME FROM EXTREME HARDSHIP/ABUSIVE FAMILY AND MOST OF MY LIFE WAS MISERABLE UNTIL I BECAME AND ADULT AND MADE MY OWN WAY.

BUT, I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN AN OUTWARDLY NICE PERSON. BUT IT'S THE INWARD PERSON THAT THE LORD HAS TREMENDOUSLY CHANGED IN ME. SO I AM NOT ONLY OUTWARDLY NICE I AM ALSO TRULY HAPPY INSIDE! SO HERE IS MY ISSUE: I FEEL AS THOUGH THE LORD HAS CALLED ME TO MINISTRY IN SOME WAY...I AM ONLY 37 YEARS OLD AND HAVE BEEN SAVED FOR EIGHT. SOOOOOOOO MANY TREMENDOUS CHANGES HAVE TAKEN PLACE BUT I AM STILL IN THE INFANCY STAGE IN MANY AREAS SO FOR NOW I AM JUST ATTENDING CHURCH AND STUDYING MY BIBLE AND TRYING TO WALK AND SERVE WITH INTEGRITY IN MY EVERYDAY LIFE AND I FEEL THAT UNTIL I CAN GET THOSE LITTLE THINGS DOWN I CAN'T MOVE ON TO BIGGER THINGS. BUT I AM MAKING PROGRESS EVERYDAY!

SO - I AM ASKING GOD AND MYSELF THIS LATELY...I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND RUDE PEOPLE AND PEOPLE WITHOUT MANNERS! IT DRIVES ME CRAZY. I SHOW LOVE AND KINDNESS TO OTHERS BECAUSE GOD SAYS TO. MY HEART HAS CHANGED AND I HAVE COMPASSION ON OTHERS TOO. I ALSO TRY TO BE THE LIGHT EVERYWHERE I GO. AND I HAVE REALLY MADE SOME GOOD PROGRESS FOR GOD WITH FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS AND MANY STRANGERS BY DOING SO - SO IT HAS NOT ALL BEEN FOR NOTHING.

BUT DON'T GET ME WRONG, I DON'T EXPECT PEOPLE TO HUG AND KISS ME AND PAY ATTENTION TO MY EVERY MOVE BY ANY MEANS...BUT A SIMPLE THANK YOU AND EYE CONTACT WOULD BE NICE. AND I DON'T MEAN EVERY TIME - BUT HERE IS THE THING, I INITIATE THE KINDNESS FIRST, I ASK HOW THEY ARE FIRST, I SMILE AND HELP AND TRY TO BE THE LIGHT. AND I KEEP DOING IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER! SOME PEOPLE DO COME AROUND...BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE RUDE PEOPLE, OPPRESSION, AND DOWN RIGHT MISERABLE PEOPLE - SEEMS TO BE THE NORM EVERYWHERE! MUCH WORSE THAN I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

I MEAN IT SEEMS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO EVEN FIND ANY 'CHRISTIANS' WITH SOME REAL TRUE JOY. I KNOW THAT IT MAY SEEM NAIVE TO EVEN WASTE MY TIME ASKING THIS QUESTION! I KNOW THE ENEMY IS HARD AT WORK. I KNOW THAT EVERY PERSON HAS A UNIQUE STORY AND MOST OF THE UN-SAVED PEOPLE REALLY ARE IN MISERY. THAT PERSON MAY HAVE JUST HAD A DEATH IN THE FAMILY OR SOMETHING. BUT I AM ALSO TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE I SEE DAILY TOO.

AND BELIEVE ME I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO LIVE IN DARKNESS. BUT, EVEN BEFORE I WAS SAVED I MADE A WAY TO CHANGE MY LIFE AND MIND TO BREAK OUT OF THAT...TO MOVE ON AND I ALWAYS HAVE BEEN COURTEOUS TO OTHERS. I DON'T KNOW I GUESS I AM JUST FRUSTRATED LATELY BY THIS. I DON'T TYPICALLY GET UPSET ABOUT IT...MAYBE I JUST HAVE HAD MORE BAD PEOPLE COME ACROSS MY PATH LATELY?
I JUST THINK "AT LEAST SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TOO". THE PERSON DOESN'T EVEN REALLY HAVE TO BE NICE MAYBE JUST ONE PEEP?

SO HAVING SAID ALL OF THAT I FEEL LIKE SAYING HECK WITH ALL OF IT. I AM SO SICK OF PEOPLE WALLOWING IN MISERY AND ALL THE "FEEL SORRY FOR ME", LIFE STINKS ETC. GOSH, I COULD GO ON AND ON ABOUT MY HEALTH PROBLEMS, MY PAST AND ALL OF THAT AND MY PROBLEMS TOO!!I HAVE GOT MUCH OF IT! BUT IT'S A WASTE AND IN THE PAST.

I JUST FEEL AS THOUGH NOT ONLY ARE QUITE A FEW PEOPLE MISERABLE BUT THEY SEEM TO WANT TO STAY THAT WAY. BUT EVEN WITH SOME SAVED PEOPLE I KNOW. I THINK GOSH, "IF WE REALLY HAVE JESUS WE BETTER HAVE SOME JOY"! AT LEAST THAT IS HOW I FEEL. ANYWAY, I GUESS I PROBABLY KNOW THE ANSWERS TO ALL I HAVE SAID AND I AM NOT GRIPING BUT I JUST WAS THINKING TO MYSELF HOW CAN I BE IN MINISTRY AND TOLERATE THIS?

I AM THE KIND OF PERSON THAT WILL HELP YOU IN A SECOND AND TRULY WANTS TO HELP. BUT THE PERSON NEEDS TO DO THEIR PART. IF IT'S SOMEONE JUST WANTING A HAND OUT AND NOT WANTING TO LIFT A FINGER OR EVEN ATTEMPT TO CHANGE THEIR BEHAVIOR IN ANY WAY THEN I FEEL LIKE "WELL FORGET IT"!

I HAVE DRAMATICALLY CHANGED MYSELF AND MIND BEFORE I WAS SAVED AND AFTER JESUS - HE HEALED MY HEART AND SOUL. SO I NATURALLY A TOUGH LOVE PERSON. I HAVE OVERCOME SOME OF THE MOST IMPOSSIBLE THINGS YOU CAN IMAGINE! SO IF EVER I HEAR OR SEE SOMEONE THAT NEEDS HELP I TRY TO HELP BUT IF THEY DON'T WANT TO DO THEIR PART WELL THEN...

BUT THAT IS NOT WHAT JESUS SAYS. THAT IS NOT WHAT JESUS TAUGHT EITHER. HE LOVES UNCONDITIONALLY, HE FORGIVES AND FORGIVES.

I WAS JUST WANTING TO GET AN OPINION OR ADVICE FROM ANOTHER BELIEVER. ANYTHING WOULD BE HELPFUL TO ME! THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS! :)

Answer
It is fortunate you have come to me because we might have a lot in common.

Firstly I think the Lord is teaching you patience and that takes time, It also seems to me that you might come across as a little over the top. Don't give people the detailed version and don't be judgemental. Be helpful to those who ask but wait to be asked and learn to listen. People really don't want to know what you have overcome but you can use small examples on occasion. When I was a new christian I could give you my testimony in five minutes but now even a hour would not be long enough. Jesus was also about tough love, he told it like it is and you either walked with him or you did not, we can only minister to someone who is open. Sometimes you have to do with out response, that's called service, realising that a person may not be able to respond as you expect or help themselves. So certain parts of ministry may not be for you, concentrate on what you do well because your ministry is apparent long before it is formally acknowledged.

Secondly you speak of your health problems so you should concentrate on dealing with those so they don't mar your testimony. Jesus saves, he also heals.

Thirdly do some formal study. Give the Lord something to work with.