Expert: Brian Thompson - 1/20/2011

Question
I have been in a relationship for 5 years. 2 years into the relationship, he sprung the question on me and says he wants to marry me. We even bought a house together. A year later, he cheated, but I forgive him, thinking that when i prayed to GOD asking if we would get the house we wanted (it meant that we are meant to be togeher aka god wants us to be together), hence i forgave him and continued the relationship.

After that incident, he became more secretive than ever, he changed all his email passwords and deleted everything from his cell phone. He said that he has nothing to hide and just wants privacy i respect that.

Recently, for the past 2 months, he hasn't been spending time with me.He has been frequenting to pubs to drink with his friends. He does drink with his friends throughout our relationship and not so frequently. Almost every night. Usually, it is once or twice a week. He doens't make time for us anymore and hardly calls or text me.

Suddenly, he told me in front of his mum that he prayed to GOD and asked if he is supposed to settle down. The very next morning, TWO people told him that he is not ready to settle down.

I told him that sometimes, these are just tempations from the devil, it may not necessarily be God's plan.

Now, he wants to end the relationship and says that he realized that he is not ready to settle down.

After we have booked our wedding plans, the house is even due end of the year.

We are having a colling off period now and I am confused if I should give him another chance. I do not want him to run away at the altar.

How will i know if God wants me to settle down with him and just pull through this period with him that maybe he is just having cold feet?!?!?

Answer
Hi

It is difficult to answer your question since it is apparent you need relationship counselling if your relationship is to continue. I observe that you have not spoken of love and so you should ask yourself what is the basis of your relationship. You should enlist the aid of your Pastor to counsel you. I would have expected that you would be involved in pre-wedding conselling in any case.