Expert: Brian Thompson - 8/30/2011

Question
Yes,
My wife and I were members of an AoG at one time several years ago. During this time she and I began to have marriage problems. I asked for assistance from the pastor and he told me that he does not council marriages. Later we divorced and she gained a job at the AoG we attended. About a year later I found out that during our marriage problems, she was dating the pastor's son while we were married. Hince, the reason the pastor did not want to get involved. She is still employeed with the church and now holds a Rev. position at the church, but married to someone else. I would like to know just what kind of doctrine does this fall under for the Assembly of God Church? She is still there, remarried, hold a job there as a Rev., and the same pastor is there. That has been almost 10 years ago and I still hold a grudge against the AoG. What are your thoughts on this?

Answer
Hi Mike

There are people everywhere that have been hurt by the actions of individual Pastors because they are just as fallible as the rest of us. I think the Pastor acted correctly in not being involved in counseling where he might be emotionally compromised but he should have sent you to someoneelse. The fact is neither that Pastor or the AoG church are responsible for the failure of your marriage. His actions may have contained omissions but we are not to sit in judgement on him.

You are looking for a doctrinal base for your wife being employed by the church. That doctrine is forgiveness. No matter what we have done in life, when we repent the blood of Jesus covers all and washes us clean, we get a fresh start. For your own sake you need to forgive your wife, and the Pastor for whatever wrongs you perceive they have done you, because the only person who is unhappy is yourself. Forgiveness is enlightened self interest, the person who benefits is you, you no longer carry the burden and you can move on and grow spiritually.

One further word about The AoG. The AoG is an association of like minded churches that subscribe to a doctrinal statement. The AoG issues Pastors with a ministry certificate after they have completed required study and training and are attested as suitable applicants by an AoG Pastor. Each Church is autonomous and responsible for its own administration so it is not an appropriate body for you to hold a grudge against

Mike

If you feel that that Pastor truely lied to you and acted in a wrong manner there are remedies, you could take the issue to the national leadership who could then adjudicate the matter between you and if necessary counsel the Pastor regarding his actions.. My answer was given to you not to hide behind forgiveness but to explain to you how the position as it now stands might fit doctrinally, which is what you asked. The Pastor is under no obligation to disclose your wife's actions to you. It is not his place to interfere in your relationship. Don't make me or the AoG the target of your bitterness because of one man's failure. Not everyone is equal to every situation, but the wrong done to you was primarily the actions of your wife. I know the forgiveness message is a hard pill to swallow and you weren't ready to hear it, but it is the way to heal yourself. When you do this you heap coals on your adversary's head, that is also Scripture. So get even, forgive them.