Expert: Australian International Evangelist Matthew Starrs - 1/17/2006

Question
Several years ago I became an alcoholic.  During these years I cheated on my wife and she eventually moved away.  Within 6 months of her leaving, I quit drinking but entered an affair with another woman.  We lived together for 4 years and finally got married.  My problem is that I am now wanting to become a Christian and live for Christ but feel that I also am living in continual adultry with my new wife.  Is there any hope for this situation?  According to the Bible the only sin God will not forgive is blasphemy of the Holy Spirit.  I am not sure what that means but want to be saved and live a Christian life without constant worry about my past.  Would you please try to help me understand?

Answer
Hi Carl

It sounds like you already know the truth.

Let me walk you through it so that you can see more clearly how it applies to your situation.

Truth No. 1:
You are a sinful person. Nothing unusual about that - we are all born into sin. But now you have recognised that sin is a stain on your life and it seperates us from God.

Truth No.2:
God forgives sinners. You are right to say that "blasphemy of the Holy Spirit" will not be forgiven. Jesus defined this as opposing what God is doing, and he mentioned it in the context of the religious leaders that opposed Him. But did you realise that you are opposing the will of God for your life whenever you disagree with His plans and purposes? In your situation you recognise that God wants to forgive you, but your feelings tell you that you cannot be forgiven. There is nothing unusual about that either. Most people struggle with this at some level. The thing is that Jesus suffered for all of your sins, and there is nothing that He will not forgive if you will allow it. That's right, when it comes to your forgiveness and salvation God has done everything He is going to do, and now the ball is in your court. So how do we deal with the crisis of conscience that arises when we try to appropriate the goodness of God but we know we have a sinful past?

I give you truth No.3:
The scripture says that "If any man be in Christ he is a new creature. Old things are passed away, behold, all things are become new". This is what is meant by the term "Born again". Jesus said you must be born again to enter the Kingdom of God. The early church in the bible would immediately baptise new converts in water to demonstrate this truth. When they went under the water, it was as though they had died and were buried. When they came up from the water, it was as though they had come back alive as a new person. All of the baggage of their past sinful life was left in the grave. Now they were free to live for God with a clear conscience. This is exactly what happens to us spiritually when we come to Christ. But not only is our life of faults and failures forever wiped away, we recieve a "newness" of life which includes the presence and favour of God in our lives that we had never before been able to experience. This is what God is offering you.

So . . . . is it a sin for you to remain with your current wife . . .  . I believe not. In fact to the contrary, it would be a sin for you to leave her. If she is pleased to live with you, whether she is a Christian or not, God will bless your relationship with her, and seek to use you as a channel of blessing for her life.

Yes, your coming together was a sin. Your behaviour in your first marriage was sinful, and destroyed that union. But these things are forever dealt with by the willing sacrifice Jesus made at Calvary. Accept this fact - you are simply agreeing with God - and move on. You have newness of life. Those old things are passed away and all things are become new. Even your marriage. Glorify God in your marriage.

Please Carl, get a New Testament and study it. See for yourself that what I am telling you is right. Find a church that teaches these things. Ask the minister what he believes. There are many churches that do not teach these things. There are others that do, but if you wanted to become a minister they would not allow it because you were divorced before you were saved. This simply demonstrates that they know the Grace of God, but are not willing to allow His fullness of blessing. Do not allow anyone to rob you of the blessing that Jesus sacrificed his own life to obtain for you.

Blessings!

Matthew