Expert: Zane B Stein - 1/18/2008

Question
QUESTION: My boyfriend and I have both, his mars quincunnx my venus and my mars semi-sextile his venus. You mentioned that for this to work that a relationship needed some very strong bonds. What exactly are really strong bonds? We have sun conjunct moon, sun conjunct ascendant, moon trine mars, moon sextile moon, mars opp sun,saturns that trine and sextile suns, venus sextile sun, venus square ascendant,mars setile pluto,his sun conjunct my sun/moon midpoint and sun conjunct north node,mercury square saturn,and many more. Is it the sun and the moon aspects that help, we really do have a very good connection and i have tremendously grown from this relationship,infact we both have, also jupiter conjunct moon helps. Any input on this would be greatly appreciated,thank-you, Leila

ANSWER: Hi, Leila,

A close Sun conjunct Moon is probably the strongest bond one can have in a relationship.  If a couple only had that positive aspect, they would feel a connection even if the relationship ended...there would always be some type of bond between them.  But with other positive aspects, this bond is like glue, keeping people on the same wavelength.

Sun conjunct Ascendant is also a very positive connection.  I would not say it had the strength of Sun/Moon, but it does show that the two people are able to see each other's perspectives....and that goes a long way towards a lasting relationship.

A lot of the aspects you mentioned are not bonds, but are nice to have. But those that are good bonds include:
Sun conjunct North Node.....an aspect showing a mutual desire for each other to grow and fulfill your potentials.
Mars opposition Sun....if the two of you are mature, this shows there can be a lot of energy when you two work together.  On the other hand, if one or the other is not mature, this can also show frequent fights, power struggles in the relationship....but even in that case, there is a desire to be with each other.

The only real hassle I see is the Mercury square Saturn, which means there are times when the one person may feel they need to keep thoughts to themself because the other person comes across (either openly or subtly) as judgemental. But if the two of you are aware of this, and have frequent times where you open up and bare your souls to each other, this should not be a problem.

Overall, I'd say you have a good potential for a lasting relationship.

Best wishes,
Zane

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Now even though the venus and mars aspects are quincunx and semisextile this is still good? I have read that these aspects create friction, but truly we do have our differences, but i do find we learn greatly from one another, so are these ok,? We do have our moments, but then most times it just feels heavenly, especially our intimate moments. Please comment, thank you!

Answer
Layla,

Venus and Mars quincunx, and semi-sextile, do create friction.  
But it is the kind that encourages both of you to grow, learn about each other, ongoing.

If you had a lot of hard aspects between you, then these Venus/Mars aspects could gradually push you too apart.  But with all the positive aspects you too have, I see them as just enough difference between you too that the relationship
will never get stale.....there will always be reasons to learn more about each other.

Best wishes,
Zane