Expert: Shanda - 7/4/2008

Question
QUESTION: whta does certain aspects in my chart say about my life partner..in past i have ruined my love life because of m psychological complexity

here are my details


Sun Gemini 23°23'27 in house 10 direct
Moon Capricorn 1°40'01 in house 4 direct
Mercury Gemini 12°50'27 end of house 9 direct
Venus Gemini 22°56'17 in house 10 direct
Mars Scorpio 11°54'09 end of house 2 retrograde
Jupiter Capricorn 9°59'24 in house 4 retrograde
Saturn Scorpio 10°21'57 end of house 2 retrograde
Uranus Sagittarius 11°03'40 end of house 3 retrograde
Neptune Capricorn 0°14'09 in house 4 retrograde
Pluto Libra 29°29'16 in house 2 retrograde
True Node Gemini 6°35'07 in house 9 retrograde

ascendent is in virg0

ANSWER: Dear Rauf,

Thank you for coming to me with your question.

Your chart is very interesting.  The request you have made will require that I look rather deeply into your chart, so, if you do not mind, I would like to take more time than I usually would in answering your questions. There is definitely "psychological complexity," as you mentioned...and I want to be sure that I am able to discuss all of the relevant concerns.

I will be in touch in a few days, if that is okay.  If, instead, you would rather rephrase your question to be more specific, I would be able to give you a quicker response.  Please let me know what you would like to do.

Kind regards,
Shanda

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Ok Shanda..take your time...

Answer
Dear Rauf,

Thank you for allowing me more time to consider your question.

You wanted to know about the aspects in your chart that describe your life partner, and how those aspects represent the psychological complexities that lead to problems in your relationship.  

Let's start with the condition of Venus:

Venus is in Gemini, and is disposited by Mercury in Gemini, suggesting that your partner is youthful, lively, and probably someone who likes learning new things and talking/writing about what is learned. Venus is in the 10th house, suggesting that you prefer someone who will enhance your status; this person may be rather concerned about his/her own reputation out in the world as well.  If your partner does not have the type of reputation that would make you proud, you probably won't be happy with that person.  

Venus is conjunct the Sun, so again, you like to take pride in your partner, and want someone who will make you look good by association.  To some extent, your self-esteem is determined by whether you are in a relationship or not; when you are not, you do not feel as confident about yourself, or your goals in life.  Venus also conjuncts Mercury, making you more interested in those who are socially and intellectually appealing (as opposed to being interested in people based on physical appearance alone).  

Venus opposes Neptune and the Moon, making you extremely idealistic about love, but not so able to use good judgment in choosing who to become involved with romantically; sometimes, you may have a tendency to believe that your partner is all-around a better person than s/he actually is...and at worst, this person is simply not there for you (emotionally, mentally, or even physically) in the way that a romantic partner should be.  This also shows that what you need (the Moon) and what you want (Venus) are at odds with each other, and so this creates an inner conflict.  With the Moon in Capricorn, you need to feel like a relationship is going somewhere, and leading to commitment...and conjunct Neptune, you may often think a relationship IS going somewhere even when it is not.  However, with Venus in Gemini, there's a part of you that wants to keep things light and fun (not so very serious).  This conflict may be a major cause of your difficulties in relationships, because sometimes, you will be giving your partner mixed messages.  

Venus trines Pluto in the 2nd house, showing that developing your relationships can become a good and important way for you to grow emotionally, psychologically, and even spiritually.  Being in a relationship helps you to figure out just what your personal values are, and eventually, you will gain courage to live your life as you believe you ought to be living it (and not just how other people say you should be living it).  This trine can give you a tendency to attract intense romantic partners who find it difficult to give you a lot of freedom...but this too will create a struggle that can result in very positive growth for you.

Now, let's look at the 7th lords, Neptune and Jupiter:

Neptune and Jupiter are both retrograde, both are in Capricorn, and both are in the 4th house.  This shows that the spouse is somehow torn between matters of home and family versus matters of career and public life.  The spouse will need to deal with this problem in order to find happiness.  The emphasis on the 4th may indicate that the spouse is very interested in creating as pleasant and peaceful of a home environment as possible.  This also indicates that you may meet the spouse while you are involved with something relating to the home, or the spouse may be met when s/he is brought to your home by someone else.

Neptune is closely conjunct the Moon, which is 11th lord, so there is a tendency on your part to have a spouse who is also a good friend, and/or a spouse who is notably involved with friends.  Neptune quindeciles the Midheaven, so this could manifest as an keen interest in having a spouse that improves your reputation; also, the spouse may be obsessed with home matters personally, while expecting you to focus just as keenly on your own career.

I hope I have addressed your question to your satisfaction, Rauf.  Thank you again for your patience.

Very best wishes,
Shanda