Expert: Bill Hajdu - 5/30/2010

Question
QUESTION: Hi Bill,
Can you tell me the best mate for me?  Female, born: 9/29/1973 at 6:15 am PST. Most long term relationships have been with rats born in 72.  Recently dated an aquarius fire dragon - disaster! :{  In the last year I've met two guys in a row with exact same birthday! (only know time for one.) 9/7/1968 11:52 pm PST. This seems like a strange coincidence.  Could a monkey be good? I heard my chart is difficult b/c of a some clashing animals internally but I'd really like to find my soul mate and start a family!

ANSWER: Hi Kelly,

You have managed to ask a lot of questions in one. Let me see what I can do.

First off I should be up front and let you know, in Chinese Astrology, the Ox lady is the sign most likely to choose the wrong guy. So, you should always get an outside opinion from someone you trust and who is wise before committing yourself to a serious relationship.

You were born during the year of the Water Ox, month of the Water Dog, day of the Earth Dragon and hour of the Wood Rabbit. Your best match is someone born in the year of the Snake, four years younger or eight years older. You were on the right track, as Rat is probably your second best match. Normally Rooster is a great match for Ox, but it clashes badly with your Rabbit hour sign. The Rabbit is a peacemaker while the Rooster loves to argue and stir things up. So a Rooster partner could drive you crazy over time.

Back to the Rat. Rat actually is the soul mate sign for Ox; although, it is not in the Ox-Snake-Rooster compatibility group. It is above average compatible. The thing to know about soul mates is they are not necessarily going to increase the harmony in your life. Sometimes you bond to teach each other, occasionally the hard way. As for your Rat ex's, overall they may not have been compatible with you. There are a lot of other factors that go into compatibility besides year sign.

Your Monkey. There is nothing special about the Ox-Monkey relationship, but it can sometimes work. According to Chinese Astrology, your compatibility with this one is 56%, good but nothing special, as you would expect with that match. It is interesting to note that astrologically they were not born on the same day. The Chinese Astrology day begins at 11pm, so this Monkey was actually born on Sep 8. By the way, your compatibility with the other Monkey is 64%, a lot better. Sixty-four per cent is actually about the same as you would expect to get with a Rat match.

If you would like to learn more about relationships, I highly recommend Shelly Wu's Chinese Sexual Astrology. Also, please visit my web site, www.onlinechineseastrology.com. If you would like a detailed analysis of your love life in general or a specific match, you can order one at the site for a modest charge.

Thank u for your question.



---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks Bill!  I know occasionally the birth month comes up as Water Dog which is a bit confusing because according to other calculators (Joey Yap) 9/29/73 comes up as Yin metal rooster. The discrepancy is frustrating in terms of measuring compatibility because Dog and Rooster are totally different groups..
Also, I was wondering if you could comment about elements?  I have no fire in my chart (unless thru combination of elements) so I wonder if that's part of my attraction to Yang Earth Monkey year.  The combination from Yin Water and Yang Earth combine to create Fire in the year pillar which is something I lack and also supports my Yang Earth Day master. Also, I think our Gua numbers are pretty compatible. Is that correct?

Answer
Hi Kelly,

I haven't used Joey's calculator, but I think he, like most four pillars guys, uses the solar calendar. I put my faith in the moon, as do Derek Walters and Kwok, Man-Ho for example. You just have to go with who gives you the best product. I've had a lot of success, as you can see from my allexperts feedback, but if you like what Joey has provided you, then go with him.

Looking at your chart I can see why you might be concerned about your elements. With no Fire in your chart, you probably do match up better with an Earth person rather than a cheerleader, rah rah type.

No Fire is a concern. You can deal with it in a number of ways. Some Chinese parents actually include a word associated with Fire in a baby's name at birth. There are a number of things you can do, some as simple as occasionally lighting a candle in your home. It wouldn't hurt to see a traditional Chinese doctor to see if there are any blockages/imbalances in your body due to your element imbalance. He/she could prescribe some herbs and dietary advice if appropriate. And, although I never suggest a person try to change their basic personality, I do advocate MINOR "adjustments." Lacking Fire, it wouldn't hurt to spice up your wardrobe and appearance. Don't overdo it, or the change could actually make the situation worse.

By the way, you also lack Metal in your chart. Two things I would suggest here would be to wear gold jewelry and to take up some form of martial arts to instill more of a fighting spirit in you.

Good luck to you, and please do check out my site, www.onlinechineseastrology.com.

Thank u for your question.