Expert: Bill Hajdu - 12/17/2004

Question
Hi,
   I was just interested on gaining some insight about my relationship. I was born at 5:00pm on 7/17/83 while Damian was born on 1/20/81. Right now with him being deployed, our relationship is very strained but I feel that there is a connection. Any insight would be wonderful. Thank you!!

Answer
Hi Denise,

You were born during the year of the Water Pig, month of the Earth Sheep, day of the Fire Horse and hour of the Fire Rooster.

Damian was born during the year of the Metal Monkey, month of the Earth Ox and day of the Earth Dog.

According to Chinese astrology this match has a 68% favorable compatibility rating, which is very good.

The most important thing to understand about you two is that you are very different people, yet your differences generally work to the plus side. Still you two must accept this fact and work for mutual understanding to fully enjoy them rather than let them get in the way of your happiness.

In spite of the high compatibility rating, there are several things in your charts that make this relationship difficult.

The first is your month signs, Damian's Ox month sign is the worst possible match for your Sheep month sign. He probably is not going to provide you as much warmth and stroking as you would like. On his side, he may see you as "whiny."

Another problem is you have two signs from the Rabbit-Sheep-Pig compatibility group, and he has none. He will have to be sensitive to your needs and go out of his way to satisfy them, or you will feel unfulfilled.

On your part, you have two things that could make you hard to live with. You have a lot of Fire, which indicates a quick temper and hotheadedness. Also, Rooster, your hour sign, is the sign most likely to argue, nag and nitpick. You combine that with your temper, and it requires a very accommodating person to live in harmony with you.

On his side, he has no Water in his chart, which means he is probably lacking in communications skills. Lack of communications has been the downfall of many relationships. He must put forth extra effort here and on interpersonal relations skills in general to effectively contribute to the partnership.

It won't be easy to find better than 68% compatibility if you decide this match is not for you. You each have lots of strengths and positive contributions to enrich each other's life. The question is do you both have the requisite spirit of compromise and willingness to truly understand each other to get the full benefit of this relationship?

If you would like to learn more about your signs, i highly recommend Theodora Lau's The Handbook of Chinese Horoscopes. Also, please visit my site, www.firepig.com and sign up for the free (trial) subscription service.

Thank you for your question.