Expert: Philip A. Stahl - 11/20/2008

Question
Hi,

I was brought up from a very conservative community. Religion is very important and essence in our community. Suppose if I become atheist, my wife will divorce me. I already have two kids. I may loose my kids. I may not be able to seem them ever. I can't live a life without my kids. Also my parent, relatives and my community will ditch me if I become atheist. The community heads will not allow to bury my dead body once I am dead. So in this situation, should I continue to act as a believer or should I become atheist? Pls. note that if I become atheist, it will be easily identified by all and I will meet all the above consequences. What is your suggestion?

Regards.

Answer
Hello,

This is a very difficult question, but one which many of us (atheists) face and which we each have to solve in our own way. As a strong adherent to a Materialist ethics - which decrees "first do no harm or minimize the harm", i do not think announcing your atheism will aid in any way and may well inflict lasting damage- on your family, and the social sphere in which they live.

This being the case, my advice would be to continue as you have been. If it's any comfort to you, very few atheists have "come out of the closet" so to speak, for similar reasons to those you've given.  Probably, in this nation, more than 65% of atheists live their lives in secret. They choose to do that rather than risk harming their loved ones, or losing their financial security.

It isn't the most terrible thing in the world, and you can still recognize in your own mind who and what you are - while avoiding harm or bad feelings on those around you.