Expert: Vincent M. Wales - 12/5/2009

Question
What would you say to someone who came to you seeking advice, blaming their hardships on God or some higher power?  

Answer
I suppose it would depend on the person.  Advice is not one-size-fits-all.  

Generally speaking, though, I would point out that blaming something as externally removed as God or a higher power is really nothing more than a refusal to take any personal responsibility for one's own hardships.  Granted, hardships are often due to things we did not bring on ourselves, but there is pretty much always something we can do about them, even if it is only in changing how we react to the hardships and choosing what to do next to help recover from them.  And this is true no matter what the hardship is, from losing a job to losing a limb to losing a loved one.  How we react to the loss is always under our control, and that makes a huge difference.