Expert: Harbhajan Singh - 4/3/2005

Question
Hello!
I am a reluctant agnostic. I so much want to believe in God and His love and companionship,but there is this small part of me that can not quite beleive,and it torments me. I feel so alone. Im scared to live, Im scared to die. It wont take too much for me to embrace the truth of God, I just need that little push. Maybe a more blatent sign. Maybe Im just to dim to recognize that they occur? I have intence crazy wonderful dreams that I feel could be messages, but as hard as I try, I can not emember them when i awake. I get names, times,information,advice..but I dont recall!!
Do you have any advice as to what i can do to fallin God's lap? I could use the rest and the knowledge of His love.
Thank you so much for listening.
G.Schertz

Answer
Your ego, your "I" stands between you and God. Just as the ego - the knolwedge of the separate identity - of a drop of water in a sea stands between its realizing that it is in fact itself the sea. Your efforts further strengthen your ego, increasing the gap still more. Stop efforts and some day you may not only begin believing in God without even being conscioulsy aware of it but may have even His direct experience. In dreams the hold of your ego is diminished and to that extent the signs of the existence of God show through. The same you will achieve when you will stop efforts and just let things happen on their own at their own time. Rest assured.

Thanks.
Harb