Expert: Norm Bishop - 2/4/2008

Question
My son, who is adopted (at 18 months), was struggling in school. We had him tested at age 16 and found he had MILD ADHD. Interestingly, I had myself tested also because I found I was giving the same answers. I also have mild ADHD. Never knew it. I am age 55.

What I find AMAZING is how he is "duplicating" my childhood EXACTLY as I was when I was his age. I never told him about all the things I did, did not, etc. as a child and teenager, but for some reason he is "dead on" with duplicating everything I did. I am constantly jolted into remembering things I forgot I did long ago; jolted when I see him say or do something - and it is like when I was a teenager so many years ago.

Now I worry; my early adulthood was a struggle. I worked dead-end jobs while going to college at night for many years. I did not really see any satisfaction or happiness until I reached age 33. I do not want him to go "the same path" in life as me, but he seems to AUTOMATICALLY be doing everything I did.

Worried dad!!

PS He has been going to a special-needs (private) school for 2 years now for children with ADHD. Which is helping.
No medication. Just counseling. And we, as a famiy, see a psychologist for 1 hour each week.

The school wants him to do dual enrollment next school year (11th grade; 2009) - high school and college, but I worry if he can handle it, too.

Thanks for the time.

Answer
The life results for people with ADHD is very different now.  I am hoping the things you have shared with you son, and the different schooling for him may help, also the help from the Psychologist should help him succeed in life.

I too have a son that has ADHD, Mild form.  He is now successful in having completed college and working in management at a auto dealership.  It is possible for success to happen.  He has been a challenge at times.  He shares ADHD with his mother, who is also a successful adult business person.  

My advise is to talk to him, share your experiences.  Not as a lecture, rather, just simple conversation, it will make an impact on him.  Maybe not totally keep him for making some of those choices, but at least causing him to think sometimes first!

Good luck to you and your son.

Norm