Expert: Christine D. DeLoatch, MA CCC-SLP - 10/9/2009

Question
My question is should I pursue seeking help for add/adhd or bipolar? I ask because  When I was 15 I attempted suicide and was hospitialized. The doctor wanted to put me on medication but my parents would not allow it. I should also say prior to that I had issues of hyperactivty and behavioral problems.Looking back I have always sought out every form of stimulation from conflict seeking ,ciggarettes,sugar,drugs, coffee you name it - this is why add/adhd is most likely an issue.  Yet, that is only part of it I have sufferred from depression ... I would often have crying spells but because  it happened so often it was a norm for me.  The first of meds that I have taken was Wellbutrin (about 5 years ago)my purpose was to quit smoking and it helped.  After I kicked the habit completely I stopped taking the medication. I was able to function  until about 2 years ago ( I still had add/adhd symptoms but they have actually become a norm for me and have defined who I am  so I have learned to embrace and accept) Well I was having major issues with depression these qualities, habits and traits because of add started to get out of control effecting my work finances and relationships.  I self medicated my self with taurine which worked for a little until I started to get anxious and really hyper. I finally went to see a doctor she prescribed Lexapro which did wonders for me. It worked so well when the  prescription ran out I never went back to get it filled .Then the depression and anxiety came and I went back to see my doctor who prescribed more Lexapro( 6 months worth) I started to get really hyper  and I stopped taking it again.   I was fine  for a little while until I noticed a change in  my behavior, temperment and performance and  I knew I  needed something. This was all decided going  into a new year which means new insurance and new rules. Well I could no longer take Lexapro. So a new doctor prescribed citolapram it was not effective as Lexapro but it was enough to get me by until it made me hyper.  I stopped again but this time I felt since I was under the care of pysc I was ok. I was however experiencing major issues with focus.So.I was  prescribed Wellbutrin I had  taken it for about 4 weeks with no success in fact I was more depressed and angry than before (even experienced suicidal thoughts) I failed to remember that when I had taken it years ago I did it to quit smoking looking back I was kind of angry then- thought it was from nicotine withdrawals.  Well my doctor took me off that and put me on ritalin 5mg twice a day. Its ok for the first hour or two- I am focused once it wears off ther is a major differrence. I don't think I am depressed but I do notice that I have been having issues with letting things go and -I have also  been slightly  parnoid/anxious/obsessive (I always have been -another accepted norm my father/sister/brother has some issues with these too as well undiagnosed add). I should also mention that I  have the hardest time waking up in the morning which could be depression.I read that you are familiar with spect studies.  Well I have read his book and I can relate with those with prefrontal cortex issues and those with an over active cingulate (if I remember correctly) If you can be of assistance it would be very much appreciated.

Answer
My Dearest Sheila,

Thanks so much for asking me your question.  I would recommend that you do seek some additional support for your condition or conditions.  I believe that you will find as you continue to become an expert on you and the mental health side of things, that it is not uncommon to see a combination of things.  Depression often co-exists with ADHD - around 40% of us show signs of it.  Welbutrin is prescribed for ADHD in adults.  I have some OCD symptoms, and if you have read Dr. Daniel Amen's book 'Healing ADD' you know that there are some sub-types of ADHD.

I would also suggest that you also look at "Women with ADD" by Sari Solden.  I found it very encouraging.  It is important to know if you are displaying any signs of cycling - as is commonly found in individuals with bi-polar disorder.  The treatment is a little different and many people who have bi-polar cannot tolerate traditional stimulants such as ritalin.  

Try to remember that you have both a mind and a body.  There are tons of things that you can also add to help yourself including regular exercise, support groups and counseling and/or coaching.  Many of these things will help you be more successful in your life - and by successful, I mean being happy with who you are, what you have accomplished in life and in your relationships.  Everything is relative after that.  If you can't sleep at night, and are beating yourself up, then life is not good.  You deserve that.  

You are indeed special and know that.  You might also look at a site about ADDivas - if you type in ADDiva, in a search engine, I believe they will find the site for women with ADD who are learning to love themselves and find other supports.  

Many blessings to you,

Christine

P.S. The Answer again,is Yes.  I recommend you look in to additional supports, medication if you are willing, as well as others.  You are worth it.