Expert: Christine D. DeLoatch, MA CCC-SLP - 11/26/2009

Question
Hiya my son is 4 years old and he is hyper all day every he wont stop running he constantly on the go all day he gets very angry and starts kicking off shouting and then starting hitting me he gets very frustrated aswell,he wont sit still at all bed is a nightmare he just wont sleep either he has been like since he was 2 years old. it nursery he is is very different,  iv been to see my health visitor and my own doctor an they say there is nothing wrong and its me not being hard enough on him, but i do his routine is 7 o'clock bed time, i do try an where him out like taking to play football, let him run around, let him stay up late to see if that works but nothing is working. help me please i cant take much more thank you

Answer
Dear Sheryl,

Thanks for asking me your question.  I strongly suggest that you first look into a program called 1-2-3 Magic.  

Are your using time-out for discipline?  I suggest that you also go to do2learn.com and look at some of the picture schedules.  This could be helpful.  Do you remove toys when he is hitting or punching?  

When he listens to you, you can reward him with a mini m-m or a teddy graham and praise his good behavior.  I suggest you read some of my other answers to mom's in a similar position.  

If need be, I suggest you take him to a child psychologist.  This is not something that your want to persist.  

Also, I suggest strongly that you no longer play heavy handed games like football or wrestling close to bedtime.  I would suggest that after 4 o'clock, you start to wind things down.  You have him help set the table for dinner. You give him a warm bath, maybe with some lavender body wash or bubble bath (not too many toys), and then listen to music and/or read a bedtime story in the bed.  I also suggest that you begin to lower the lights in the house at around 6 p.m.  This starts to signal to the body that he needs to rest.  

Also teach your son that he Does need to stay in the bed, even if he does not go right to sleep, and he does need to be quiet.  

You do have to have consistent boundaries.  I hope some of these suggestions help.  

Please write to me again if you need more detailed information.

Christine