Expert: Norm Bishop - 6/30/2009

Question
I have 2 girls 1 of them just turned 4 and the other will be 3 near christmas. i wander if they may have adhd because they here latly i have noticed they have been getting into everything. and being vey defiant. and winey. my oldest will tell me before she goes to bed what shes not suppose to do before she goes to bed but then she gets up in the morning and theybvoth do it again. i have disaplined them in every way i can think of but nothing has worked i have been told they are too young to know whether or not they have it or not  but part of me wanders. my 4 year old is vary smart at least to me at her age she knew her ABC's at 2  could count to 13 and knew her colors at 2 but since her sister could start playing with her she hasn't really went to much further than that. neither one of them want to eat 2 much to often and they both always complain of their tummys hurting all the time. and i just can't seem to get my 2 year old to potty train she acts like she want too, but most of the time she dosn't want to sit on the potty and then 15 min. later she potttys in her pull up. and i have been having a hard time getting them to go bed latly either.i just found out that i had adhd also about a month ago,so day i can handle them some days they just drive me crazy and i want to cry so if you let me know it might ease a lot of my pain

Answer
It is very difficult to diagnose ADHD at such a young age.  What you describe may well be ADHD, but could be other things as well.  

You may want to discuss this with your Doctor the next time you take them for a visit.  He/She may know of a parent of ADD/ADHD children support group.  Those groups can be very helpful to parents.

I would suggest that you be as consistent as possible.  Set up a system where they get rewards for doing what they are told and get time outs (sitting quietly in a chair until you tell them they can get up...if they get up, they go back, until they comply).  The rewards can be whatever they like, but I would avoid sweet foods.  Make the system simple.  My kids had 5 Chores.  We posted a Chore Chart on the refridgerator.  Each had 5 chores each week...things like, 1) Cleaning their room once a week, 2) Picking up toys every night, 3) Being in bed by bedtime, 4) Brushing their teeth, 5) Taking out garbage, 6) Brushing the dog...and so on.  They got a sticker on each chore that they did and at the end of the week they either got cash (nickel a chore...goes up as they got older)..(ice cream treat from the ice cream vehicle that came through the neighborhood).  When they get older it can become more significant chores, like mowing the grass, or walking the dog...doing the dinner dishes, etc...but always, getting homework done.

Good luck to you.