Expert: Sharon Crandall - 1/2/2010

Question
I have a 10 year old son with ADHD.  He is on meds.  He couldn't sit still or focus but he has never had energy for activity.  Just wondered what I can do to make him or help him be more active.  on the meds or not, he NEVER wants to exersise or play sports or anything.  I have tried everything!  Swimming, playing in the snow, treadmill, Wii fitness games etc...  No luck.  Even if I make him, it's hell and it doesn't give him any energy.  His doctor said that it's just the way he is.  I cannot accept this.  I don't want him over weight!  HELP!

Answer
Hello Tammy,

First of all, nagging him and putting him down in any way will for sure not help.  He could very easily have traits such as low Physicalness, Low Stamina, and also have high mental traits, rather than physical traits.  Or, there could be physical problems that the doctor does not know about. Has he been checked for anemia and other blood problems?  I am so opposed to meds, except in rare and extreme cases because they are addictive and can cause heart problems for future health.

I wish I could see him. If you have a picture of him I can tell some of the traits through a picture. Write me from my website of www.personalityconsultant.com and I will take a look to see. If you have a straight front picture and a side picture that would be great. My guess is that he has very mental traits that cause him to get distracted easily and absorbed in thought so that they think he has ADD.  He is probably low Competitive, too, and so is not highly motivated to take the challenge of life.

Now, he is old enough to reason with and so unless there is a physical problem of some kind, I would sit down with him and tell him that you love him and that your job as a mother is to see that he is healthy and has a good start in life. Tell him that when he is an adult and paying his own rent then he gets to do whatever he wants to do, but until then it is your job to be the parent and make sure he does certain things so he will be healthy. Therefore, there will be nothing but doing his chores (all children should have chores to do, at least a couple of them), and his homework, and that is it until he chooses some form of exercise for at least a 1/2 hour. You could offer to get him a mini trampoline, or he has to run in place, or do a game that is interactive that requires physical exertion. There will be no reading, no video games, no texting or talking on the phone, no television until he gets his exercise. Tell him he gets to choose between several kinds. It could be he joins a soccer team or other sports such as Karate, or else he can run in place or jump on a mini-trampoline.  

As parent you do not beg, plead, nag, preach, etc.  Just tell him briefly what I said that then let him choose his activity. Then make sure he just sits there. Again, ignore him as much as possible so that he has no interaction with others and it is as unpleasant as possible. Do not keep nagging him or reminding him, etc. Just let him sit there. Tell him that he is old enough to do this and you expect him to do this. Then just cheerfully go on about your business but keep him to the rules. If that doesn't work I do not know what will. This will be a test for you because you will need to keep cheerful and not nag him at all.

Now, since you have said that he doesn't seem to get energy from any activity that he has participated in I really think there is a health problem, along with low physical traits. Does he sleep well? Is he taking vitamins? If he gets 30 minutes a day and still sits around a lot then he still should be okay health-wise. He probably is created to do some heavy mental work of some kind for his occupation.  

Tell me more, okay.  Write me at the web site and with more info and feedback and let me see what I can do for you. God bless. Actually, you can email me directly, if you have any pictures of him--personalityconsultant1@yahoo.com.

Sharon Crandall