Expert: Sharon Crandall - 7/26/2010

Question
I am middle aged female, and I have just worked out that I think I have ADD.

I was not one to experience learning difficulties, but having a rather unconventional education experience, I discovered that I simply learned to teach myself, and teachers or lecturers are largely irrelevant to me.  If I do have this disorder I have managed it quite well and have adjusted parts of my personality to appear to conform.

One of the things is I have spent a large part of my life "dumbing down" so to speak as I tend to explain things that an average thinking person cannot keep up with.  I never saw this as particularly intelligent, more that my brain seemed to process at a very rapid rate of knots.  I can also run two different scenarios at the same time, listen to up to four different conversations at the same time (I tested this and my brain collapses at 5) My lateral thinking and problem solving skills are excellent, yet I cannot get anywhere near spatial reasoning.

As a child I had my IQ tested, and it as apparently very high, but I don't remember what it was.  At grade school and college I was a straight A student, and at Uni I was straight Bs.  The only thing I really ever lost marks on is attention to detail.

I have always had a very hypersensitive nature, easily hurt, yet cover it up with humor, so few ever notice.  Was very prone to being short tempered during adolescence and early adulthood, but have also learned how to control and manage that.

I can be very high functioning, and find that the more responsibility that is placed on me, the better I function.  It is when responsibilities reduce that I fall into procrastination.  These times I tend to self medicate with alcohol, as my thought processes become more scattered.

Mundane chores bore me to tears and I am prone to do enough just to get by.  I start many projects, and I notice I can only take them on if I can finish them with a certain time frame, otherwise they will remain unfinished.

I absorb information very quickly, and usually have more that one thought process going at any one time in the analysis.

I know I am not narcissistic, as I am prone to attracting these types, and have had a series of abusive relationships.  I believe I coped to some degree with this because the responsibility was always thrust onto me.  I have a fairly comprehensive understanding of cluster B personality disorders, and have stumbled over ADD in my quest for answers.

I have only been aware that I may have this disorder for a few days, so wanted to ask for an opinion.  Also because I have managed it fairly well, is medication something that would be beneficial at this stage in my life?  I take no form of medication, alcohol would probably cover it. Also is this usually diagnosed through the medical profession, or mental health?  What is the best approach for diagnosis?

I hope that all makes sense, thank you for your time.

Answer
Dear Noni,

I would certainly hate to see you go on medication and believe you could learn how to cope without alcohol. One of the first things to realize is that you are a genius in certain areas. Geniuses of your type have difficulty in mundane chores and they get bored very easily. I can easily recognize various personality traits in your letter and if I could do your complete profile I could show you that you are perfectly normal for you. No two people are alike and you have some unusual gifts and traits that makes you truly march to the beat of a different drum.

I commend you for handling your life as well as you do. You have, on your own, used will power to change some negatives.  It is important to know that each of our powerful traits have both the negative and positive uses built in and we can learn how to direct our traits to the positive.

The main thing for you to do is to accept who you are and your individuality. If you research various people who have contributed greatly to our world, they almost always have a story similar to yours. Not in the exact behaviors but the fact that they did not fit the mold. Einstein did lousy in school. G.K.Chesterton was so disorganized in his personal appearance, and other details around him that his wife literally had to keep him together. We could go on and on.

Celebrate your quirks, if you will. You would really benefit from my complete personality profile assessment. I could then tell you exactly what is going on and how to direct your traits. I would have to do it through photos, unless you live in southern CA, Nevada, Idaho , or Utah, which is my traveling circuit.

In my coaching program I help you look at traits that contribute to attracting the abusive relationships and empower you to create positive relationships.

Have you ever done Yoga? I highly recommend that to you to help you quiet your mind, rather than alcohol. You have the trait of high Ideas and people with that trait tend to have a lot of unfinished projects. That coupled with high Mental Capacity makes it so you get bored easily.  Take a little more time in deciding what you want to do because finishing is very important for your mind/body/health. Make sure it is what you really want to do and then do all you can to make yourself finish.

One thing that is very important and that is that when you understand your own traits, you learn to hire others to do what you hate to do. That leaves you more time to really do what you are gifted to do and where you make your best contribution.

Getting your feelings hurt easily is another trait that you could learn more about so that you could learn how to overcome that even more than you are doing now.

Your short temper shows several things. It shows the ability to stand up for yourself and also shows how you like to get things done.

All our challenges are our gifts and we can learn how to minimize the challenge parts and maximize the gift parts.

As to ADD. I think that, except in very rare cases, there is no such thing because I can take a list of symptoms and explain each and every symptom as being an inborn trait or combination of traits.

So, I think you are doing remarkably well in handling your trait pattern with which you were born. The important thing is to know what you want in life. After that, you need a plan of how to get it, and how to work with your traits to get them to work for you, rather than against you--which you have done to a great degree.

I know I could be of more help but really would need to do some private coaching. I have an introductory telephone coaching session for only $25 if you are interested. I can be contacted at personalityconsultant1@yahoo.com.  Check out my website. www.personalityconsultant.com

Let me know if I can be of further assistance.

Sharon Crandall
Personality Science Consultant/Coach